Nobody Saw Shit…

Posted in The Law at 11:37 pm by

…and they wouldn’t tell you, even if they did.

Rosenthal : Sox Will Eat Millions To Move Manny

Posted in Baseball at 11:25 pm by

From the Sporting News’ Ken Rosenthal :

Look for the Red Sox to finally trade LF Manny Ramirez this offseason. A thin free-agent market for sluggers will intensify the demand for Ramirez, and the Sox likely will be willing to pay some of the $57 million remaining on Ramirez’s contract through 2008 and/or take back salary in return.

The Mets, Marlins and Rangers are potential suitors for Ramirez. And don’t rule out the Nationals under new ownership ” especially if Jim Bowden remains general manager.

Implosion of the week, by the way, comes courtesy of Manny’s teammate, the Sultan Of Sloth.

Heard This Before? Cubs’ Wood Faces Surgery, Season Over

Posted in Baseball at 6:51 pm by

From the Sports Network :

Chicago Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood has decided to undergo surgery on his troublesome right shoulder, the team announced Monday, which will signal the end of the oft-injured right-hander’s season.

Wood (above), who has spent two separate stints on the disabled list this year, will have the procedure Wednesday at Beacon Orthopedics in Sharonville, Ohio. Cincinnati Reds team physician Dr. Timothy Kremchek will perform the operation.

The Cubs expect Wood to be at full strength in time for spring training and is slated to return to the starting rotation in 2006.

…with a return to the DL scheduled for sometime in May of next season.

Mighty Casey Going Deep, Fan Abuse, Unrelated

Posted in Baseball at 3:03 pm by

From MLB.com’s Anthony Castrovince :

“Hey Casey,” the Pirates fan screamed from the upper deck at PNC Park in the ninth inning on Sunday. “I don’t care where you’re from. You still stink!”

Pittsburgh native Sean Casey didn’t hear the catcall. But he responded, nevertheless, taking John Grabow’s very next pitch 457 feet out to center field for a two-run home run that put the final stamp on the Reds’ 7-2 win over the Pirates.

“That’s great,” Casey said when informed of what had transpired. “That’s classic. You gotta love when that happens.”

The Reds have a lot to love about the way they’re playing lately.

They’ve responded from their well-documented struggles of the season’s first half much in the same way Casey responded to that jeering fan.

Yeah, except Casey wasn’t responding to that jeering fan. As Castrovince notes above, Casey couldn’t hear the guy in the upper deck. In fact, it is hard to figure out how Castronivce could hear him.

Of course, properly equipped, the hardcore fan does have the power to affect the outcome of such a contest.

Olney’s Investment In A Part-Timer

Posted in Baseball at 1:21 pm by

Waxing poetic about Roger Clemens’ lack of run support from the Houston Astros, ESPN.com’s Buster Olney :

Roger Clemens has been well-liked by teammates during his career, for his intensity and his attention to detail and his emotional investment in others on the days he doesn’t pitch.

Olney must be refering to the Rocket’s “emotional investment” in someone other than his ballclub. The provision allowing Clemens to stay at home for road series in which he’s not scheduled to pitch has been mentioned time and time again.

GM Who Signed Cristian Guzman Flips Out

Posted in Baseball at 1:06 am by

Being shut down by Cal Eldred in the year 2005 is pretty rough. But Jim Bowden can take some solace in knowing that his Nationals won’t have to face Donovan Osbourne, James Baldwin or Frank Castillo down the stretch. Well, probably not. From the Associated Press :

Jim Bowden strode into the Washington Nationals clubhouse, the door slamming shut behind him.

The general manager had just finished watching his team get shut out for the second straight game against a surprise starter, and his defense and pitching weren’t exactly stellar, either, in Sunday’s 6-0 loss to the St. Louis Cardinals.

Several minutes later, on a ramp below the stands at RFK Stadium, Bowden described himself as “angry, frustrated, disappointed” and ripped his team’s performance.

“It was pathetic,” the GM said. “We gave them this game today. This is embarrassing. We gave them those runs.”

Turning his attention to the hitters, scoreless over 21 innings, Bowden said: “This isn’t a problem of one guy or two guys. We have an embarrassing problem of all eight. Zero offense.”

By contrast, the New York Mets managed plenty of offense over the weekend against San Francisco, scoring a grand total of 3 runs in 3 games while dropping two of three to the Giants.

This just in : L’equipe has named Jason Giambi the AL’s Comeback Player Of The Year.

Orioles pitchers issued a staggering 11 walks to Oakland yesterday en route to a 10-3 beating, Baltimore’s 8th loss in their past 9 games. None of those walks were issued by formerly popular actress Geena Davis (shown above). Temp manager Sam Perlozzo has been around the game long enough to know that you don’t catch many flies with vinegar. On the other hand, sparing the rod can spoil the child. I don’t know how many children or flies Perlozzo has hanging around clubhouse, but I can’t help but think he’s keeping a seat warm for Lou Piniella.

“If I had thought going in there and yelling at these guys would make them get a hit, I wouldn’t be able to talk to you right now,” he said. “These guys are not stupid. They’re trying. They’re putting pressure on themselves, but they’ve got to get over it.

“What would I yell at them for? For not getting a hit? They’re trying. When they quit trying, when they get lazy, I’ll yell at them.”


Sven : Get Off My Jock

Posted in Football at 9:56 pm by

(“And what are you wearing?”)

Which is the more fascinating subject, England’s forthcoming World Cup qualifier with Wales (Sept. 3) or manager Sven Goran Eriksson’s zipper problem? The oversexed Swede would prefer that we not pay much attention to the latter, writes the Times’ Matt Dickinson.

œI think it™s fair that the critics are hard when you lose a football game like we lost in Denmark, Eriksson said. œOn non-football issues, I™m sorry to read weekend after weekend rubbish, things that aren™t true. Obviously someone is out there trying to disturb my job.

œBut if they think they can disturb the harmony in the England team they are totally wrong. If people are to write about my private life they should at least try to make it right. Is that asking too much to write the truth? Someone is out there trying to make me leave the country, the Swede said. œI can promise you that I won™t.