11.28.06

Humorless San Diego Cops Wasting Taxpayer Dough

Posted in The Internet, The Law at 1:57 pm by

From the AP :

A classified ad that offered a free baby boy on the Craigslist Web site was under investigation by police Friday although the posting was believed to be a hoax.

The ad was posted to the “free stuff” section of the site early Thursday alongside offers for free turkey dinners, a set of crutches and an electric stove.

The writer, who said he was in San Diego, claimed that his ex-girlfriend had the baby a few weeks ago.

“Now he just sits in my closet and cries,” the ad stated. “I’m not too sure how to deal with it.”

The posting added: “Batteries not included. Transaction final. No returns.”

Craigslist removed the ad shortly after it appeared.

“This is most probably a hoax,” site founder Craig Newmark said in an e-mail to The Associated Press on Friday.

San Diego police said the matter was referred to investigators in the child abuse unit and another department that investigates Internet crimes against children.

I’m no Curtis Sliwa, but I can promise the San Diego authorities that if they’re looking for something really interesting on Craigslist, “free stuff” isn’t the section.

DeAngelo : I’m A Lazy Sod

Posted in Gridiron at 12:18 pm by

Drew Brees’ Hail Mary to Terrance Copper the other day against the Falcons was already cited in this space as one of those “how the fuck did that happen?” moments. Thanks to the Atlanta Journal Constitution’s D. Orlando Ledbetter, we now have an explanation.

Cornerback DeAngelo Hall said he went for an interception on the Hail Mary pass that gave the Saints a 21-6 halftime lead. New Orleans’ Terrance Copper came down with the ball between Hall, Derrick Johnson and Lawyer Milloy.

“I was trying to make a play,” Hall said. “I was kind of being lazy. I probably should have been a couple yards deeper in the end zone instead of trying to fade back.

“Then just being greedy in my mind, wanting to pick it. Then knowing that I can’t pick it and then trying to tip it down. Halfway up in the air, my arms are still at my chest. … The ball goes a little bit to the left.”

The Washington Post’s Howard Bryant writes the Redskins might be holding kicker tryouts today. Surely I’m not alone in thinking this could be Tony Meola’s big break?

Since I’m really having a hard time finding anything positive to say about Eli Manning of late, how’s this? If his 4th quarter decision making was nearly as savvy as his reluctance to take the bait when invited to bury Plaxico Fantastico, the Giants wouldn’t be staring up at the Cowboys in the NFC East standings.

Metal Mike Moving To The East Bay?

Posted in Baseball at 11:54 am by

The SF Chronicle’s Susan Slusser reports Oakland are looking to replace Frank Thomas’ production with that of Mike Piazza.

the A’s began talks with Padres catcher Mike Piazza last week about becoming the team’s DH. While negotiations are continuing, according to a source, Oakland is unlikely to sign Piazza, a Type-A free agent, until after the Dec. 1 arbitration deadline so that the team does not lose a draft pick. Piazza, who also was an A’s target last offseason, probably is looking for a two-year deal.

Then there’s the spot that will be open when left-handed starter Barry Zito opts for free agency: On Monday, the team put in a bid for the rights to Japanese lefty Kei Igawa, according to a major-league source. As many as 10 other teams also were expected to put in a bid with Igawa’s Hanshin Tigers, including large payroll clubs such as the Yankees and Mets, so it’s a long-shot that Oakland would acquire the 27-year-old, who went 13-9 in the Central League last season.

ESPN.com’s Buster Olney, completely ignoring the appeal of Amoeba Records’ vast selection Savatage rarities at their Berkeley location, surveys the possible move on purely baseball terms.

Oakland is stacked with left-handed hitters such as Eric Chavez and Mark Kotsay, and Thomas provided the right-handed balance. Piazza would serve this purpose, as well — he hit .359 against lefties last season, with a .421 on-base percentage. And in an offseason when the best offensive players are getting six-year deals or eight-year deals, Piazza would probably require only a one- or two-year deal, which would better fit Oakland’s modest payroll.

Olney also stresses Piazza’s low batting average last year at the place Pets Fly Balls Go To Die (.233) compared to a none too shabby .332 away.

Slusser’s colleague, Henry Schulman, along with reporting the Red Sox are insisting on more than Armando Benitez + an unidentified position player in exchange for Manny Being Manny, writes the Cubs have offered free agent P Jason Schmidt $44 million over 3 years.

With Randy Wolf moving to the Dodgers, the Phillies have signed P Adam Eaton to a 3 year, $24 million pact. Apparently, that’s the going rate for a hurler who has never won more than 11 games, and is coming off a short stint for Texas where he compiled an ERA of 5.12 (albiet in a hitter’s park).

It seems as though free agent C Rod Barajas flunked his physical in Toronto. I don’t know exactly what that means, but I’ve always had trouble with the coughing part.

OF David Dellucci, identified earlier this year by baseball expert Tom Hicks (above) as a paragon of toughness and leadership, has signed a 3-year, $11.5 million contract with Cleveland.

CSTB Marketing Dept. Busts Out Of Extended Slump

Posted in Internal Affairs, The Marketplace at 2:28 am by

OK, perhaps the CSTB line of actionwear is selling worse than Bobby V. muscle tees.  There’s no cause for panic, not when your 13th or 14th favorite spurts blog has joined forces with T-Mobile to introduce the Ltd. Edition CSTB Sidekick III.

(photograph by Sally Crewe)

Sports Putz Vs. Joumana Kidd Basher

Posted in Basketball, Sports Journalism, Sports TV at 1:41 am by

Bill Simmons’ recent critique of Celtics coach Doc Rivers not only failed to escape the notice of David Roth, but stuck firmly in the craw of the Globe’s Bob Ryan, who holds the Sports Putz accountable for the anti-Rivers chants that have filled the TD Banknorth Garden of late. David Scott quotes Ryan’s remarks from a Sunday night appearance on Bob Lobel’s “Sports Final”.

From 3,000 miles away, someone who has got some influence on I™d say at least 25 percent of the people who are after Doc Rivers, Bill Simmons. . . UNBELIEVABLE, has written a column last week at ESPN.com assaulting and just killing Doc Rivers.

And I™m telling you that the emails I get reflect the fact that people are paying attention to him from 3,000 miles away, as if he knows what™s going on with the Celtics.

While Scott’s Shots is primed for “a potentially simmering feud between two of Boston™s most influential sports columnists,” a subsequent reply from Simmons is of the taking-the-high-road variety. That aside, I mean no disrespect whatsoever (ok, maybe a little) in observing that the other 75% of Celtics fans that aren’t under the Sports Putz’ magic spell are perfectly capable of reaching a negative conclusion about Doc all by themselves (as Simmons as noted, he’s had about 200 games to get it right). And the 3000 miles dig does Ryan few favors, as Simmons has already cited the “he doesn’t matter, he doesn’t come into the clubhouse card,” along with the somewhat provocative (if you work for a daily newspaper) “I can’t remember a single time when somebody with “inside access” helped elucidate something about the Red Sox, Patriots or Celtics that I couldn’t have figured out myself.”

Seriously, if Boston-area residency is a prerequisite for being allowed to offer an opinion on the state of the Celtics, perhaps Ryan should petition the NBA to limit their League Pass package to those with a Massachusetts zip code. In his recent interview at Sports Media Guide, Ryan refers to the “intimidating” level of access modern technology provides today’s fan, but depending on your point of view, that sort of availability could also be considered helpful, liberating, or even lucrative.

It’s pretty late in the day for Ryan or any other old-schooler to bitch about the suddenly level playing field — not unless they wanna give up their cable TV gigs or ask their newspapers to restrict their compositions to the print editions (and declining readership). If Simmons’ musings are resonating with a larger audience than those of Bob Ryan, whose fault is that? The latter had a pretty gigantic head start, and you’d hope he’d have it in him to let the quality of future work stand up to comparision. I mean, I know who I’m rooting for, but this 3000 miles away bullshit is a pretty weak defense for what might be too close a relationship with the coach in question.

11.27.06

The Video Store Is A Scary Place

Posted in Cinema, The World Of Entertainment at 10:38 pm by

And not just because I almost rented a film co-starring Scarlett Johansson and Darius Miles.

No, my friends. There are far more terrifying options. Val Kilmer IS Moses. (Or, he was). “Ten Commandments : The Musical” IS a digital versatile disc available right now for your purchase or rental. And no matter how poorly received the stage version might’ve been, the results of this inspired combination have been documented for all time. Long after Val Kilmer’s detractors have left this mortal coil, his most triumphant moment since “Top Secret!” will live on and on.

Parcells To Liquored Up Idiot : Get Lost

Posted in Gridiron at 7:12 pm by

Hands up, everyone who thought Terrell Owens’ tenure in Big D would outlast that of Mike Vanderjagt?

While I don’t know what the future holds for Peyton’s least favorite former teammate, I do hope he does a better job of paying his bandwidth bills than Billy Cundiff.

Braylon Edwards has apologized for flipping out on Charlie Frye during the Browns’ 30-0 loss to the Bengals yesterday. Those waiting for Colonel Coughlin to admit wrongdoing for publicly dogging his charges, however, had better not hold their breath.

Marvin Harrison’s been getting some grief on TV and radio today for his early exit just prior to intermission last night against the Iggles, and it’s all my fault.  If I was more reliable, Marvin wouldn’t have to send a last minute text reminding me to Tivo “The Wire” at 9pm.

Mike Shula hasn’t been out of the job in Tuscaloosa for more than a few hours, and already the Miami Herald is speculating that Dolphins coach Nick Saban will be amongst ‘Bama’s targets.

Texas defensive co-coordinator Gene Chizik was introduced as Iowa State’s new head coach earlier this evening. I don’t want to say the folks at Burnt Orange Nation are slightly overzealous, but they seem to have figured out the identity and exact location of Chizik’s likely successor.