Manny : Violating Halloween Etiquette / Risking A Dusting Off From The Great Pumpkin

Posted in Baseball, Free Expression at 7:34 pm by

The Manny-O-Lantern, link courtesy Maura Johnston. Not the scariest thing I’ve ever seen, but quality work nonetheless.

Detroit’s Kitna : Funnier Than Linklater’s “Fast Food Nation”

Posted in Gridiron at 7:24 pm by

The Detroit Free Press’ Carlos Monarrez on John Kitna’s ok-sense-of-humor-for-a-concussion-victim.

Lions quarterback Jon Kitna said his choice to dress up at a Halloween party like assistant coach Joe Cullen was intended as a good-natured send up and part of the ribbing that is common in NFL locker rooms.

Kitna, a notorious prankster, said he merely was trying to win a costume contest at charity party in Plymouth held by receiver Mike Furrey on Monday. Kitna came dressed in a naked costume as Cullen, who was arrested and charged in the summer of 2006 with obscene conduct and drunken driving in separate incidents in Dearborn.

“People who understand an NFL locker room understand that when guys do things we joke with each other a lot,” Kitna said. “Now, would I have done it last year? No. I think it would have been too close to when the situation happened.”

Monarrez’ killjoy colleague Drew Sharp, though hardly amused (“Kitna crossed the line this time and owes Cullen an apology, if for nothing else but for pushing that embarrassing evening back to the forefront of local consciousness”) is quick to point out the Lions have a history of hot Halloween getups.

Scott Mitchell made headlines 10 years ago when he appeared at a team party masquerading as Wayne Fontes. Mitchell was in full Big Buck regalia. He had a cigar protruding from his mouth as well as some padded girth protruding from his belt. The coup de grace was the Mickey Mouse ears.

Seattle’s Cosmopolitans Continue To Bait A Rich Oklahoman

Posted in Basketball, Blogged Down at 2:44 pm by

From Supersonicsoul.com.  Hey, if it’s any consolation, a Danny Fortson mask for trick-or-treating in Oklahoma City would probably go over poorly, too.

Cameron : Stimulants Yes, Steroids No

Posted in Baseball at 2:39 pm by

Hey, at least he didn’t blame his impersonator. From the San Diego Union Tribune’s Tom Krasovic.

Padres center fielder Mike Cameron beat Major League Baseball to the punch Wednesday morning when he announced on the club’s flagship radio station that he was suspended for the first 25 games next season for testing positive a second time for a banned stimulant.

The commissioner’s office planned on releasing the news Wednesday afternoon; a few hours earlier, Cameron told AM 1090 that he believes he took a tainted supplement.

œThe one thing I wanted to make sure was explained is, no steroids, said Cameron, who plans to file for free agency within two weeks. œI never took nothing like that before in my life. That would be 50 games, and that would affect me a whole lot more.

Cameron issued a statement through his agent, saying doctors for the union helped him narrow down what triggered the positive test

œAfter all of the analysis and testing, I can only conclude that a nutritional supplement I was taking was tainted, he said. œUnfortunately, the actual supplement is gone, and therefore cannot be tested. Without the actual supplement in hand, the rules are clear, and I must accept the suspension.

These union doctors sound terrific. Perhaps they could come in handy before the questionable substances are procured, too?

Jose Offerman Legal Status Update

Posted in Baseball, The Law at 1:34 pm by

While we eagerly await a reformed Stickmen With Ray Guns’ rendition of “Christian Bat Attack”, Jose Offerman has proven — like O.J. Simpson and Claus Von Bulow before him, there’s one justice for celebrities and another for….uh….people who aren’t celebrities. From the Connecticut Post’s Daniel Tepfer (link courtesy Hot Foot and Nate Dog) :

Former Red Sox All-Star Jose Offerman was granted a special form of probation this morning for attacking two Bridgeport Bluefish players with a bat during an August game.”I’m real sorry for what happened and I would like to apologize to all the fans that were at the stadium that day, especially the children,” a somber Offerman said as he left the Golden Hill Street courthouse with his lawyer, Frank Riccio Jr.

“I’m real sorry for all this,” he added.

Superior Court Judge James Ginocchio granted Offerman, an infielder with the Long Island Ducks at the time of the incident, accelerated rehabilitation on two counts of second-degree assault.

Although Offerman was suspended indefinitely from the Atlantic League after the incident, Riccio told the judge that league Executive Director Joe Klein has offered to allow Offerman to return.

“I’m real sorry for what happened,” Offerman told the judge. “I embarrassed the game I love and I wish I could take it all back.”

Assistant State’s Attorney Brian Kennedy objected to Offerman being granted accelerated rehabilitation, saying the crime was too serious.

“Mr. Nathans’ season ended with that game and he is still suffering from his injury, a significant injury,” he said.

Highlights From Tuesday’s “Tonight Show”

Posted in History's Not Happening, Rock Und Roll, The World Of Entertainment at 12:03 pm by

a) Leno looks terrible!
b) someone should tell Ron Paul that Halloween or not, he’ll never win the Republican Nomination going on TV dressed up as Siouxsie Sioux.
c) “go on, say something shocking”?  Has NBC learned nothing from their experiences with Chris Hansen?

Cowherd Looks In Mirror, Sees Kobe Staring Back

Posted in Basketball, Sports Radio at 11:30 am by

Kobe Bryant was booed early and often at the Staples Center last night, en route to pouring in 45 points in the Lakers’ 95-93 opening night loss to Houston.  “”I understand where they’re coming from,” Bryant told the LA Times’ Mike Bresnahan. “They didn’t really understand the whole situation because I’m keeping my mouth shut like I should.”

I’m not sure what part of visiting 3 talk radio shows in one June afternoon constitutes “keeping my mouth shut”, but perhaps Kobe has a different way of defining things. Like, consensual sex.

ESPN Radio’s Colin Cowherd, a morning host generally disinclined to give a hoot about an NBA regular season game, was apoplectic Wednesday about Bryant’s ill-treatement.

“Some people don’t understand sacrifice,” muttered Cowherd. “They don’t have any idea what it takes to be the very best. When someone is the best at what they do, they deserve support.”

“I admire people who are the best at what they do,” continued Cowherd. “I don’t sympathize with management. I’m on the side of the guy who is the best at his job.  If you’ve proven you can be a great mortgage broker at more than one company, I’m on your side. If you’re the best chemical salesman, I’m on your side.”

Perhaps unmoved by Cowherd’s comparison of the NBA’s best player to a chemical salesman, one caller opined that Bryant was unworthy of fan support “because he can have any woman he wants. He doesn’t have to rape someone.”

“Dude,” scolded Cowherd, “he was never convicted.  You sound like you’re twelve.”

Around the time Cowherd began yelling about Larry Bird and Dr. J. having fathered children out of wedlock, I’d heard enough.  Is it a wild reach to presume that Cowherd  — his pinhead having failed to puncture the glass ceiling at the WWL — sees just a little of himself in Kobe Bryant?  That the morning motormouth considers his post-dawn meanderings the broadcasting equivalent of dropping 81 points on the Raptors?