Smush In A Rush

Posted in Basketball, The Law at 11:22 am by

And suddenly, Kwame’s birthday cake robbery seems dignified by comparison. From the South Florida Sun-Sentinel’s Michael Cunningham :

Heat coach Pat Riley said guard Smush Parker (above) would be inactive while the team investigates an allegation that Parker twisted a woman’s arm during an argument over a valet parking fee.

Yomara McKenzie, 41, told police Parker injured her left arm Tuesday morning at a condo building at 355 Biscayne Blvd. According to a Miami police report, Parker was told he owed a $12 fee but said he paid the night before. The valets could not find a ticket for the car.

McKenzie’s attorney, Ron Guralnick, said he would file a complaint with the Miami-Dade State Attorney’s Office this morning. Guralnick, a personal injury attorney, said he also would file a civil suit against Parker “for assault and battery, seeking compensatory and punitive damages.”

Parker’s agent, Bill Ceisler, couldn’t be reached for comment Thursday. On Wednesday, Ceisler said Parker, in a hurry to make Heat practice, didn’t have cash on hand and couldn’t find a working ATM within walking distance.

Police said Parker, denied his keys until the debt was settled, knocked over a podium out of frustration. McKenzie then told Parker he would have to pay for damaging the podium, the police report said.

Parker, 24, tussled with McKenzie in an attempt to retrieve the keys, according to the report. Guralnick said McKenzie went to the hospital Tuesday and was treated for “severe scratches” on her left arm, reported a “tingling sensation” in her fingertips and also complained of back and neck pain.

Messin’ With Sasquatch : Vancouver 2010’s Mascots

Posted in olympics at 10:58 am by

Decent stuff as Olympic mascots go, but without wishing to tell the Vancouver 2010 organizers how to do their jobs…what, pray tell, happened to the fourth member of the above gang, the guitar-wielding, spoken-word reciting Shithead? Surely an effort to recognize British Columbia’s rich cultural heritage is incomplete without him?

Lisa Loeb Is Turning Over In Her (Career) Grave

Posted in Baseball, Rock Und Roll at 10:19 am by

Though Kuff & The Buttheads’ musical salute to Xavier Nady did eventually grow on me, I’m sorry to say I’m just a little underwhelmed with the above homage to John Maine.

On the bright side, these guys have yet to unveil a song about Brian Lawrence.

Damn You, TV Guide

Posted in Gridiron, The World Of Entertainment at 10:06 am by

Keith Olbermann and Kelsey Grammer’s appearances on last Sunday’s “The Simpsons” were worthy of mention, but what about long-suffering Ryan Leaf?


The Boston Massacre : Where Not Giving A Shit Happens

Posted in Basketball at 9:10 pm by

Celtics 82, Knicks 37 (2:44 remaining, 3rd quarter)

Even Bill Belichick thought Doc Rivers should’ve given his starters the rest of the night off.

Only a person unfamiliar with the recent fortunes of these two teams would be surprised by the likely result, but the abject lack of effort on the part of the visitors is nothing short of mind blowing. Even during the most brutal moments of John MacLeod or Stu Jackson’s tenures did we didn’t witness a Knicks squad so throughly outclassed, but never in my lifetime have I seen a professional team trailing by 30 more with nearly a half to be played, that completely gave up trying for rebounds, fighting for loose balls or showing even the smallest bit of pride in their alleged craft.

For all the abuse Rivers has received in the past, I’ll say this much ; the C’s are running away from New York like Secretariat at Belmont, and the likes of Glen Davis and Eddie House are still throwing themselves all over the floor. The Big 3 are most assuredly All-Universe, but Boston’s bench would run rings around Zach Randolph and Eddy Curry most nights.

I am wondering, however, just how big the Celtics’ margin has to be for Scot Pollard to remove his warm-ups. If ever there was a time for Pollard to come up with a cheap double-double, this had to be it.

There’s no shame in being beaten, thumped even, by what is arguably the best team in the NBA. But for Isiah Thomas’ charges to not even show up for a nationally televised game against this historic rival is mortifying. And it oughta bug the hell out of Celtics fans who purchased tickets for a game featuring an opponent other than the Washington Generals.

(UPDATE : Celtics 104, Knicks 59. Only via a Nate Robinson three-pointer at the buzzer — after Boston allowed an intentional 24-second violation to turn the ball over — spared New York their lowest point total in franchise history. Postgame, Kevin Garnett acknowledged Quentin Richardson’s tough talk, and yeah, were it not for Q running his mouth, Boston might’ve only won by 40).

Political Candidates Beware : Raul Mondesi Is One Fickle Motherfucker

Posted in Baseball, politics at 8:37 pm by

This story reminds me of a scene in the Robert Redford vehicle “The Candidate”. Or perhaps the Urge Overkill video, “The Candidate”. Or perhaps, none of the above. From the November 23 Dominican Daily (link lifted from Dodger Thoughts)

Former Los Angeles Dodger slugger and now deputy Raul Mondesí after a meeting with president Leonel Fernandez yesterday decided to continue backing the ruling PLD party and the reelection bid, just hours after vowing to support opposition PRD party presidential candidate, Miguel Vargas.

The newspaper El Nacional said deputy Mondesí “who won his seat after resigning from the also opposition PRSC party- met with Vargas on Wednesday and said he was willing to support his candidacy, but Fernandez invited the ex big leaguer to the National Palace just hours afterwards, when he again vowed to support the re-election.

Vargas said in the two meetings which the former outfielder requested, Mondesí had expressed his disgust with the PLD, for alleged broken promises.

Yesterday, from his native San Cristóbal, in statements by telephone to Radio Z-101FM, Mondesí admitted he was displeased with the PLD, but said as a friend of Fernandez he supports his reelection bid.

He later repeated the statements on the same station to the journalist Consuelo Despradel: “I can meet with whomever, but am friend of the President and support the reelection,” he said, but denied having met with Vargas.

The rumors of Mondesí™s disgust with the PLD and decision to support Vargas spread from San Cristóbal throughout the week, including his threat to turn over his 12 billboards picturing the former L.A. Dodger together with Fernandez to Vargas™ campaign.

Rhetorical Battle With Heartless, Gutless Prick Turgid, But Not Surprising

Posted in Firearms, Free Expression, Gridiron, Sports Journalism, Sports Radio at 8:10 pm by

Hey, at least Leonard Shapiro never wrote that Sean Taylor lead his team in bullets intercepted. From the Washington City Paper’s Dave McKenna :

A huge huddle of Redskins fans have been taking out their grief over Sean Taylor™s death on Len Shapiro for his Tuesday washingtonpost.com column headlined, œTaylor™s Death Is Tragic but Not Surprising. Shapiro says he™s gotten hundreds of emails since the article appeared.

œThis is the most I™ve gotten for anything since I started doing the column, Shapiro says. œEvery time I click over, there are three or four new ones, many of them starting with ˜Mr. Shapiro, you heartless, gutless prick.™

The outcry, which has a hater/non-hater ratio of about 100-to-1, has caused Shapiro some second thoughts.

œThe headline [which Shapiro didn™t write] was a little tough, and a lot of the readers didn™t get past the headline, he says. œAnd if I had it to do over, I probably wouldn™t have been quite as cynical about Taylor™s transformation. I probably shouldn™t have used the words ™so-called.™

Shapiro has also taken a beating on WOL-AM™s sportstalk show, The Sports Groove. John Mitchell, a sportswriter for the Washington Times, went on the air Tuesday night and quickly nailed Shapiro with a one-two punch, calling him both a œracist, conniving skunk and a œracist, conniving dog of a skunk.

Last night, the barrage against Shapiro continued, as Sports Groove host Mark Gray boasted that he had invited the writer on the show to rebut the haters, of which he is a proud ringleader.

Shapiro tells me he was unaware of the invite, but he™ll be glad to discuss the situation with Gray.