The Fiver Takes The Name Of Soccer Dog In Vain

Posted in Football at 11:47 am by

The Guardian’s Tom Lutz and Barney Ronay have duly noted Manchester City’s attempts obtain a work permit for Iraqi midfielder Nashat Akram (above), and take a somewhat dim view of a politician lobbying on the club’s behalf.

Now, some people say Tony Blair didn’t have a plan after he conqu … liberated Iraq but he did and it goes a little something like this:

1. Conqu … liberate Iraq.
2. Leave 38 soldiers with no equipment in charge of country riddled with religious and ethnic tension.
3. Give soldiers berets instead of helmets to show locals how friendly they are.
4. Um…
5. Ask God to sort it out, if he has time.
6. If God is busy, dress Danielle Lloyd as a racy Santa and send her out to cheer up soldiers when locals get picky about lack of electricity, water, security, medical facilities, Sunday repeats of Heartbeat etc.
7. Um…

But at long last, it looks like the British government is trying to solve the whole mess through football. Not, as you might be hoping, by sending Soccer Dog as a negotiator in a tri-partite meeting between Sunnis, Shias and Kurds, but by getting Human Rights FC to sign Nashat Akram. Unfortunately, Akram’s work permit has been refused and cuddly Labour MP Keith Vaz – who voted for military action in Iraq, by the way – ain’t happy. “I shall be calling on the home secretary to review this decision,” he harrumphed, waving some important-looking papers about. “Here we have someone who wants to come and work legitimately, a role model for his country, whose presence here can heal divisions in Iraq.”

Now the Fiver is all for Akram coming to Britain, but wouldn’t it be better if the country didn’t have to rely on a deal backed by money from Thaksin Shinawatra – a man accused of human rights abuses by all kinds of NGOs – to salve its conscience? Soccer Dog hasn’t worked for a while, come to think of it.

Disco Inferno : The Murderous Musical Taste Of The KOOP Arsonist

Posted in Radio, Rock Und Roll, The Law at 11:25 am by

Boing Boing’s Xeni Jardin has discovered KOOP has yet to remove playlists from their site compiled by the station’s accused firestarter Paul Webster Feinstein.

I don’t wanna go on a Whitlock-esque rant implying there’s a cultural connection between Feinstein’s musical favorites and his criminal activity. Many of this blog’s readers can enjoy the recordings of R.L. Burnside and Captain Beefheart without setting a building ablaze.

However, I do believe social crusaders, pop psychologists and the local District Attorney alike should have a field day with Feinstein’s tendency to play the works of Mother 13 frontdude Corey Harris. At the very least, it might be time for a picket line in front of Harris’ label offices.

Making It Rain With Floyd Mayweather

Posted in Blogged Down, Boxing at 11:00 am by

Nyjer Please bulk forwarded a link earlier today to some bullshit video of Tony Romo getting screechy with Metal Skool (can someone please kill those guys before the inevitable Rob Dibble appearance?), but the real gem at TMZ.com is footage of Floyd Mayweather tossing crazy money around (“with some boxer named Zab Judah” — they really know their sweet science at TMZ) at a lame Vegas nightspot. At one point, Mayweather is said to throw $5K into the air.

A bit of a cliché, really. Though in defense of Pretty Boy Floyd, no one busted out a phone cam when I did the same thing last Sunday night at Donn’s Depot.

Zeke’s Latest Delusion : Knicks To Pursue Kidd

Posted in Basketball at 7:01 am by

Rather than dwell on Sasha Vujacic’s 12 point 4th quarter outburst in the Knicks’ 120-109 loss last night to the Lakers, consider the most recent ill-advised public statement from Isiah Thomas, as collected by the New York Post’s Marc Berman :

A day after saying he had “no superstars,” Knick coach Isiah Thomas said he will ask the Nets what it would take to land the on-the-block Jason Kidd.

The Nets have been forever looking for a big center, and Eddy Curry could be involved in a potential deal, possibly along with Renaldo Balkman, whom the Nets like.

Kidd’s bombshell that it’s time to move on traveled to L.A., where the Lakers, too, should have interest again.

“I think our business is to find out,” Thomas said. “When players are on the market, you try to find out. You have to be interested. You have to look.”

With Stephon Marbury likely out of future plans, Thomas considers Kidd among the game’s elite point guards despite Kidd’s age – he turns 35 on March 23.

Of LeBron James’ hopes to be paired with Kidd, True Hoop‘s Henry Abbott writes, “it’s not at all clear that the Cavalier organization wants a highly paid non-shooter on the downslope of his career, especially when it’s sure to cost valuable assets. As much as the team wants to be competitive now, they also really need to be competitive in the summer of 2010, when LeBron James will be a free agent.”

So of course, it would make plenty of sense for Isiah Thomas — whose team will not be confused with the defending Conference champs on many nights — to covet a highly paid, aging non-shooter…who will pass the ball to who, precisely?  Shouldn’t the Knicks be looking ahead to James’ and D-Wade’s free agency as well?


Paging Nigella Lawson : ‘Sheed In Cake Form

Posted in Basketball, Blogged Down, Food at 9:14 pm by

Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace contributed a double-double to Detroit’s 110-104 victory over Indiana earlier tonight, but more importantly, he’s been immortalized (sort of)….as a cake (link taken from where else, Need For ‘Sheed)

I’m particularly impressed with the culinary skills of Francesca Falchieri, especially in light of my own feeble attempts to produce a curry that resembled Eddy Curry.

Following his recent trade request, it’s foolish to think PG Jason Kidd would begin to sabotage the New Jersey Nets.  If we’re to believe the New York Post’s Peter Vecsey, Kidd had already started doing so.

From everything I’m hearing, no trades are pending, but management feels it may be forced into making the best one as soon as all the bids are in, particularly with regards to Kidd, whose heart and head aren’t into competing for an inferior team.

This was never more clear than at the tail end of the Nyets’ pathologically pathetic 98-95 loss to Minny Ha-Ha on Sunday, whom they led, 95-88, with 1:19 left on the clock.

Granted, Jason Collins, a 35-percent free-throw shooter, shouldn’t have been part of the offense at the time. So what does Kidd do? He compounds Lawrence Frank’s fracture by delivering a pass to Jason Collins, who immediately was fouled by Al Jefferson. Collins appled the first free throw and gagged the second.

You expect a bonehead decision like that from a rookie or a journeyman reject, certainly not from a guy reputed to be among the five smartest point guards of all time.

That play said it all to me. Either Kidd was trying to show up Frank or he was making it obvious to owner Bruce Ratner and team president Rod Thorn they’re wasting precious time and wins.

In Kidd’s defense, he had 11 assists in Tuesday’s 87-80 home win over Mllwaukee, none of ’em thrown in the direction of Collins (0 points and no shots in 11 minutes)

Wilbon Stricken – Maxim Super Bowl Party Said To Be Unaffected

Posted in Sports Journalism, Sports TV at 7:58 pm by

In all seriousness, here’s wishing for a very speedy recovery for the Washington Post’s Michael Wilbon, who reportedly underwent an angioplasty on Sunday in Arizona. Regardless of your feelings for Wilbon, if you consider that Dan Le Batard is a mere heartbeat away from being Tony Kornheiser’s daily foil on “PTI”, right now is a very appropriate time to say a silent prayer of thanks for advances in modern medicine.

Are You Ready For The Deadspin Superbowl Party?

Posted in Blogged Down, Gridiron, Racism Corner, Will Leitch Sucks at 7:30 pm by

This has been some kinda month for Deadspin’s Will Leitch. Not only has he been wowing a national TV audience with his star turn as Christian radio host Chris Kennedy (above) on “Friday Night Lights”, but I’m told he’s got a new best seller in the bookstores, “God Save The Fran”. It’s about time someone had the guts to write an entire book about how Fran Drescher has so much more going on than a nice pair of legs, and while I’m not sure Will’s the man for the job, America’s sports fans his associates (and Will’s editor) would surely say otherwise.

If that weren’t enough excitement, Leitch is hosting a Super Bowl party and Mr. Irrelevant’s Chris Mottram is nearly beside himself with anticipation.

Going to a party hosted and attended by sports bloggers (along with endless amounts of beautiful women, I’m certain) in a nondescript sports bar in a strip mall somewhere around Glendale, Arizona is more intriguing to me than, say, the Maxim party (although not as intriguing as Dan Majerle’s party). Plus, Steinz and Ufford will be there. Actually, I think those two will be everywhere together this week. Word is that they’re sharing a hotel room. Hilarity is sure to ensue.

Granted, my own SB XLII party is unlikely to consist of much more than sharing a plate of nachos and a couch with a dog and two cats (one of ’em prone to excessive coughing). But I couldn’t help wonder if a Leitch-hosted event would really be, y’know, off the hook (as the kids say) by comparison.

Judging from the snapshots on offer at Will’s Flickr page — helpfully linked to last week at Deadspin following the “God Save The Fran” publication shindig, this shall indeed be a killer event. A lot of major companies would balk at being associated with someone who exhibits this sort of cultural sophistication, but I salute both of them for standing by their man. Don’t let the pressure groups push you around, Harper-Collins and The Sporting News! Let freedom ring!