Congratulations, Phillies …

Posted in Baseball at 3:05 am by

[Just caught up with this on MLB network’s “classics,” and I don’t think its over rated at all.]

It’s December 30th, and I didn’t want to let 2008 run out without finally wishing a hearty congratulations to the World Champion Phillies and their fans.  Better late than when hell freezes over never.  I know, I know, for Cub fans, 2008 was “our year.” “Our Year.”  What a sad fucking joke.  Leaves a tinny, metallic taste in my mouth just to say it.  But I’m over all that now.  And not wishing Jason Cohen and Chuck Meehan a congratulations would be petty no matter how I feel.   Congrats.  See Gerard, I’m classy when the situation calls for it.  At least Obama won, so that’s something.


Boom Dizzle, Searching For The History Eraser Button

Posted in Basketball at 3:47 pm by

Sunday’s 96-78 loss to the Dirkless Mavs dropped the Clippers’ record to a brutal 8-21, and proximity to the indie film business aside, it is safe to assume ex-Warrior Baron Davis has learned the grass isn’t greener on Donald Sterling’s farm.  If the following item by the San Jose Mercury News’ Marcus Thompson II is credible, it might be time for the Association to charge one of Davis’ former teammates with tampering.

The Warriors came to Hollywood a day before Sunday’s game, giving Stephen Jackson a chance Saturday to hang out with Baron Davis (above). And discuss the possibility of Davis rejoining the Warriors.

“That’s all we talked about,” Jackson said. “I went to his house, spent some time with his mom and his grandmother. He wants to come back. And if he wants to come back, I want him back.”

It is feasible that the Warriors and the Clippers could pull off a deal. It would have to involve Warriors forward Corey Maggette (for salary-cap reasons) and/or guard Jamal Crawford (to make room in the backcourt).

Clippers owner Donald Sterling said last season that he had wanted Maggette around long term.

“I think that would be great for us,” Jackson said. “Coach (Don Nelson) loves him. Him and (guard) Monta (Ellis) have good chemistry. If they could work that out, that would be great for the organization.”

A 2008 Dallas Cowboys Autopsy

Posted in General at 2:47 pm by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : Mr. David Williams observed the Cowboys’ total capitulation to Philly yesterday and writes, “I could’ve done a better ‘poster,’ but my heart was apparently eaten by the Jones family yesterday in some kind of Mayan Ceremonial hoodoo.”)

I’m past having much sentimentality about sports teams, but can’t escape the genetic basis for being a Cowboys fan.

That being said, to the extent a multi-billion-dollar corporate entity can have “heart” or “guts” (if by those terms you are nostalgically denoting a group gestalt that includes pride in performance and grace under pressure), this particular iteration of the Dallas product has neither, and to the extent that they did, it failed them on an embarrassing scale yesterday.

Of course, without a real football GM, this will continue to be a grand farce; Jerry’s ego writ large on the stage– bound to be a tragi-comedy.

It may emerge in future days that Romo was playing hurt, but what isn’t heroic is bad decision making on the field. Football, unlike magic, is a technology (or praxis) that is sufficiently understood.

Owens passive-agressive hands and Roy Williams’ idea of running a crisp route, or inability to make inuitive adjustments all reek of rampant solipsism.

Players who stepped up for contract years and then contracted in performance. Over-paid safeties (!) whose skill level is dime-a-dozen.

A head coach who found the career ceiling and should drop back to defensive co-ordinator.

An heir apparent who was out-schemed.

The idea that a unit that got to 13-3 last season but already had Borderline Personality Disorder just needed a few tweaks. Like Pacman Jones.

It was a perfect storm.

There is one possibility that is microscopically heartening: yesterday’s game was like a suicide’s plea for help. They know somehow that Wade can’t take them to the Promised Land. They know in their tiny heart of hearts that Garrett is easily out-coached. They have to know everything that’s wrong, and they exposed it to try to force the issue(s).

If this is the case– to quote Lenin: “what is to be done?” (and who will do it?).

Slammin No More? Sosa Seeks Spot in Tough Job Market

Posted in Baseball at 2:00 pm by

Texas Rangers team owner Tom Hicks, center, looks on as Republican presidential hopeful Rudy Giuliani, right, chats with Sammy Sosa, left, as Giuliani visited the team during batting practice prior to a baseball game against the Oakland Athletics in Arlington, Texas, Saturday, Sept. 8, 2007. From AP Photo by Tony Gutierrez.

[Seen shaking hands:  former rising star in 2001 to DC disgrace to 2008 rejectee of GOP money men nationwide “ and on the right, Rudy Giuliani.]

Sammy Sosa lets it be known this week he’s up for the 2009 season if you are.  Sosa, the legit single-season home-run king, who never appeared on the Mitchell Report with Mark McGwire or Barry Bonds, has been informed by the Marlins that they’re looking for a younger outfield this season. The Trib reports that Sosa recently gave an interview to the Dominican newspaper Listin Diario that he currently has no offers.  At 40, you can’t blame teams for their skepticism, but you have to wonder if the same atmosphere of collusion that Barry Bonds is convinced exists doesn’t apply to Sosa as well (assuming it exists).   In 2007, Sosa hit .252, with 21 HRs and 92 RBI in 114 games for Texas, and passed the 600-HR mark, as one of only six players to do so.

Salt Lake Tribune : Big Shot Bob Isn’t Nearly As Clutch At Fundraising

Posted in Basketball at 12:51 pm by

While praising the likes of Deron Williams and Dikembe Mutombo for their tireless efforts on behalf of numerous charities, the Salt Lake Tribune‘s Ross Siler, Tony Semerad and Michael C. Lewis paint a far less flattering picture of other NBA players’ fundraising efforts. “The average NBA player foundation put just 51 cents of each dollar it spent toward charitable programs, well below the 65 cents most philanthropic watchdog groups view as acceptable,” claim the trio, though perhaps these numbers are thrown off a bit by the catering bill for Jerome James’ “Feed The Hungriest” Banquet.

NBA free agent Robert Horry’s Big Shot Foundation reported $206,086 in fundraising expenses for 2005, its first year of operation, but, according to tax returns, the efforts raised nothing.

The year’s tab included $38,000 in artist’s fees; a total of $23,126 in building and venue rental; a $27,486 expenditure on an unitemized “commission”; $23,005 in food; $25,905 in golf course fees; $17,368 on hotels; along with other four-figure expenditures on a disk jockey, sound and lighting, trophies, video rental, logo shirts and security.

Attempts to reach a foundation spokesman at the phone number listed on tax returns were unsuccessful.

Retired NBA power forward Chris Webber’s Foundation holds an annual star-studded poker and golf extravaganza at Planet Hollywood Resort and Casino in Las Vegas, called C-Webb’s Bada Bling. Now in its fourth year, the party is billed as “a celebrity weekend” with a 56-star guest list including comedian Jamie Foxx and singer Gladys Knight.

In 2006, the first year the event was held, party organizers reported spending $243,000 on catering and $327,561 on event production. The foundation also reported losing $530,590 on special events for the same year, tax returns show.

The Sports Media Conscience Of NewsCorp. Can’t Spell Scum If You Spot Him The Cum

Posted in Gridiron, social crusaders, Sports TV at 11:16 am by

It finally might be time for the Mushnick children to install some sort of reverse V-chip on the family cable box, one that will prevent the New York Post’s Phil Mushnick from watching the NFL preview programs that seem to offend him so profoundly.

Two minutes into Fox’s one-hour pregame yesterday, host Curt Menefee noted that panelist Terry Bradshaw last week said he’d like to see the Lions finish 0-16.

“S–bag,” panelist Howie Long said of Bradshaw.

“I am a s–bag,” Bradshaw said.

That gave Long, Bradshaw and Fox 58 minutes to apologize, to express their regrets to a national audience for having ambushed it during Sunday daylight.

None came. Perhaps they felt they’d said nothing inappropriate, or, at worst, it was no big deal. Hey, if there were kids watching, that’s what the Fox robot is for!

Shortly after the Long-Bradshaw exchange, “weather babe” (expect steamy and hot) Jillian Reynolds began her segment with a heh-heh crack suggesting that Bradshaw’s the father of her infant child. “Heh-heh-heh,” Fox’s panelists responded.

I’m curious how many anguished telephone calls Fox affiliates across the nation received (fewer than one?), or for that matter, how many parents took the time to carefully explain to their kids just what Long and Bradshaw were talking about. It’s an awkward conversation, sure, but that’s why “We’re Going On A Bear Hunt” author Michael Rosen published “A Child’s Guide To Scumbags”.

Jets Thank Mangini For “Laying The Foundation”

Posted in Gridiron at 10:38 am by

“We respect Eric for what he’s done, but we want to build on the successful foundation that he’s laid” said New York Jets owner Woody Johnson earlier today, a curious choice of words to describe the 3 year tenure of just-fired head coach Eric Mangini (above), he of the 23-26 record and going 1-4 down the stretch (including Sunday’s 24-17 Favre-wrapped gift to Miami).   Despite splashing out on free agents and contract extensions during the offseason, Gang Green are consigned to many months of Benigno howling, though not nearly as much as if they’d kept Mangini on board.

Curiously, GM Mike Tannenbaum retains his title, despite his role (along with that of Mangini) in bringing Brett Favre to the Swamp (and conversely, giving Chad Pennington —- the ’08 Comeback Player Of The Year? — a new lease on life with an AFC East rival).  Favre lead the NFL with 22 INT’s and the former Packer icon’s poor performances were as big a factor as any in in the Jets’ failure to make the postseason.  That Johnson and Tanenbaum profess to wanting Favre’s return in 2009 is nothing short of baffling.