Kelly : CBC Lost The Battle Of The Sexes

Posted in Hockey, Sports TV at 6:45 pm by

The CBC’s recent announcement that Jules Mancuso and Lena Sutherland would provide alternative commentary to the Stanley Cup Finals under the goof premise of “While Then Men Watch” was met with groans by male and female hockey fans alike, though the The Star’s Cathal Kelly suggests the finished product was even worse than projected. In the aftermath of LA’s 2-1 OT win over the Devils in Game One at the Prudential Center, Kelly writes, “After suffering through the abrasive and aggressively ill-informed commentary of Mancuso and Sutherland on , I can put that political pissing match to rest. This CBC live stream isn’t about men and women. This is about idiots and non-idiots.”

There was a black-and-white, pre-taped bit that showed Mancuso and Sutherland as hard-done-by ’50s housewives complaining about these hopped-up new CBC hosts, Mancuso and Sutherland.

Get it? (elbow in ribs) GET IT?

“Just doing my vacuuming and pregnant again,” says Sutherland

“Oh geez, I wish they’d come up with some kind of contraception,” says Mancuso.

“I wish I didn’t have to keep stroking his (comic beat) ego every time his team loses,” says Sutherland.

Somewhere in hell, Ralph Kramden is tapping his lawyer on the shoulder.

This sort of satire might have worked if the real thing was not identical to the lampoon.
They treated the build-up to puck drop as an extended opportunity to wallow in exactly how little they know about the game.

“Martin Brodeur is looking for his fourth Cup,” said their off-camera straight man, Sonny the Producer.

“That’s the old guy, right?” said Mancuso.

Yes. The old guy.

Ken “Hawk” Harrelson – Paragon Of Impartiality, Professionalism

Posted in Baseball, Sports TV at 3:43 pm by

“I took four Advil after that inning was over and then I had to take four more on the plane and then when I got home last night I had to take four more. Also, when I got up this morning, I had to take four more.”

– link : Chicago CBS.com

40K + Paid To Watch Laz Diaz Umpire Last Night In Anaheim

Posted in Baseball at 10:49 am by

No, seriously, I’m sure an exit poll of those who attended the Angels’ 6-5 victory over the Yankees Wednesday would confirm the overwhelming majority of the paying customers turned up in order to witness home plate umpire Laz Diaz (above) preside over the affair.  As such, it’s only fitting that Diaz should be treated with great deference by the lowly players on both sides, particularly New York’s argumentative catcher Russel Martin, who claims Diaz refused to let him throw new balls back to his own pitcher.  From the Newark Star-Ledger’s Marc Carig :

“He told me I had to earn the privilege,” said Martin, a seven-year veteran, three-time All-Star and Gold Glove winner. “Even at the end of the game after I get hit in the neck. I’m like, can I throw the ball back now? He’s still like no. I’m like you’re such a (expletive). Like for real. Unbelievable. I even told him like when there’s guys on base, I like to keep my arm loose. No. I’m not letting you throw a ball back. That’s pretty strange to me.”

When informed that his choice of words wasn’t printable, Martin said “I wish it was.Then, he helped come up with suitable alternatives before leaving the clubhouse.

Diaz was not available for comment.

“That was strange,” Martin said. “I was kind of mystified. I really didn’t get that. He was punishing me.”

Typically, Martin said umpires grant his request to throw the ball back to his pitcher, which he likes to do just to keep his arm loose during games. Even after arguments, he said no umpire had ever denied him the request until last night, when Diaz told him he hadn’t earned the right.


If The Wilpon Family Is Chasing Vice/Intel Money, They’re Going About It The Wrong Way

Posted in Baseball, New York, New York at 6:39 pm by

A few years ago, I attended a Mets/Yankees game at the old Yankee Stadium in the company of the erudite and talented Jeffrey Jensen and Jesper Eklow.  We sat somewhere in the upper reaches of The Stadium’s tier seats, surround by a gang of mouthy Yankee fans, several of whom either starred in the movie, “Boiler Room” or were simply devoted to dressing and acting like tools on a full-time basis.  These gentlemen spent much of the evening addressing the Mets and Mets fans in terms that ranged from “you suck”, to “you suck cock”, to the particuarly Wilde-worthy, “you suck homo cock”.  As things became more heated throughout the game (and a Yankee defeat appeared imminent), one of the more lumpen members of this modern day Algonquin Round Table uttered the cutting epithet he’d surely been sitting on since the moment he laid eyes upon us ;

“fuck you, you fucking hipsters”.

Needless to say, I was confused.  Had he called us homeless, I might’ve understood.   I wouldn’t have liked it, but it would’ve made more sense.  As the years have gone by, I’ve struggled to understand precisely, what a hipster is supposed to be.  If you read a lot of unfunny blogs, it appears to have something to do with stupid facial hair, drinking PBR and some large dose of elitism.   I mean, guilty as charged on the elitism, but they don’t get much more elite than Mitt Romney, and nobody’s calling him a hipster.

Anyhow, back in the present day, the Mets’ NY-Penn League affiliate apparently knows for certain what a hipster is.  Much as I’ve enjoyed many nights at Coney Island’s Keyspan Park, I’m less than enthused about giving the Wilpon family money in order to mock and demean a minority group that doesn’t actually exist.

Sirius/XM’s Ku Klux Klueless Dino Costa : His Twitter Drive Is A Moronic Marathon, Not A Sprint

Posted in Dino Costa, Hate Fuck Radio, Sports Radio at 4:32 pm by

(l-r: Yonkers Cowboy, David Duke.  BFF’s?)

On multiple occasions, Dino Costa of Sirius/XM’s “Mad Dog Radio” has replied to lengthy CSTB posts about his unique brand of free expression with the warning, “you had better not stop covering me and my show.”   Since there’s not been much other coverage for Costa’s exploits, save for a 2006 Westword profile (and an earlier item from the same paper concerning his dismissal from a Denver radio station), I think the least I can do is shine as bright a light as possible on his fear of a non-white planet, aversion to inner cities and insistence he’s not a homophobe (despite telling his acolytes, “homosexual sex acts make my skin crawl”, as well as deeming homosexuality, “a lifestyle choice”).  With Dino’s frequent contributions to Twitter, I’m somewhat spared the burden of hearing his entire radio program (and accompanying Dice Clay tributes), as he’s proven capable of coming up with a nearly 24/7 output of equally creepy, if not entirely readable material.

So it came as some surprise yesterday — just hours after Dino wrote to CSTB claiming those old sexual harassment charges from 2003 were the result of a “love triangle” (“the person in question was completely discredited, had a history of mental problems and had been through the process of this kind of a thing before”) he announced he’d be taking an immediate Twitter sabbatical (“as America’s most compelling, dynamic, unique, and most knowledgeable sports based talk radio host, I find it personally insulting that I have the scattering of Twitter followers that I currently possess…I’ll be back when my Twitter feed gets to the 5K level”).  Later in the day, perhaps realizing that 5 thousand followers might be a slightly ambitious goal for a radio host with not nearly as many listeners, Costa declared on his evening Mad Dog Radio show that he’d retire from Twitter if his follower total hadn’t reached 4 thousand by the end of the program.  “And then,”  intoned Dino, “I’m gone until 5 thousand.”  Seems like he’s really thought his through, right?

As the show dragged on, Costa repeatedly coaxed long-suffering producer Andrew Caplan for an update on the Twitter drive.  “You’re doing great, Dino,” Caplan assured Costa,  “only 340 to go,” failing to mention of course, that two hours into the broadcast, they’d not gained more than a dozen or so new followers.   When the begging mercifully came to a close at 11pm eastern, Costa — who’d earlier promised he’d not return to Twitter — posted again, insisting, “the # must be 4K by the end of this week…if it is not, my tweeting days are done.”  And of course, he’s made two subsequent posts to let the world know, he’s SERIOUS THIS TIME.

In the not-so-unlikely event Costa soon finds himself bounced from the radio business, I do realize there’s every possibility he might hold up a convenience store somewhere and take hostages.  When that tragic day arrives, I implore authorities to delay negotiations with Dino as long as they can, as we can see a pattern developing.  He’ll start by demanding a helicopter, $10 million bucks and free passage to any country that upholds the sanctity of male-female marriage.   But by the end of the siege, he’ll surely settle for a four-pack of Dogfish Head 90 Minute IPA.

All of that said, I’m a helpful person, even when dealing with bullies, blowhards and guys who embellish their resumes. If Dino’s hellbent on increasing his Twitter followers at all costs, why not petition an audience that really seems to get him?  When Costa conducted a smoochy interview with  former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke in 2008, who’d have thought the former would someday become such an important fixture on Chris Russo’s satellite channel?  Or that the usually attention-starved Costa would neglect to ask Holocaust denier-Duke or his buddies at Stormfront.org for their support in solving this Twitter dilemma?  Really, why so reticent, Dino?  White supremacists and Nazis are pretty fuckin’ savvy when it comes to social media ; what’s the point of sucking up to them so blatantly if you’re just gonna disassociate yourself when the chips are down?

Putting aside for a moment the irony of someone who routinely blocks his critics later complaining about his number of Twitter followers, regardless of what happens between now and Friday or whatever other artificial deadline Costa comes up with, I have suspect the medium will survive, perhaps even flourish without his participation.  The same might even be true of talk radio.

Olney : Mets Will Commence Careful Spending (As Soon As You Give Them Money)

Posted in Baseball at 2:40 pm by

(32 year old Vinny Rottino’s biggest moment in baseball to date — being punched in the cock by his manager)

Getting the most out of a decidedly Buffalo Bisons-esque lineup, Terry Collins has the 2012 New York Mets just 1 1/2 games out of first place in the NL East at the end of May, a rather staggering achievement given the club’s finances and non-contributions from players injured (Mike Pelfrey, Jason Bay) and healthy (Ike Davis).  While R.A. Dickey, Johan Santana and David Wright are experiencing career revivals, don’t expect the Amazingly Destitutes to revert to their former free spending ways, warns ESPN’s Buster Olney, who writes, “there are no plans to dive back into the marketplace and spend aggressively and restore their payroll to pre-Madoff levels.”

They are switching big-picture strategies, in fact: Rather than making moves designed to lure fans to their ballpark — like the signing of Pedro Martinez and Jason Bay — the Mets intend to follow a path created by their fans’ investment. As the team gets better, and Citi Field attendance climbs, the Mets’ payroll will grow.

It’s a slow-burn strategy, and rival officials believe it has a chance to work under Sandy Alderson, because there is hope on the horizon. Zack Wheeler, the pitching prospect acquired from the San Francisco Giants for Carlos Beltran, is dominating hitters in the minors with a fastball in the range of 94-97 mph, and Matt Harvey is progressing in Triple-A. Jenrry Mejia, whose development was derailed in the past, appears to be back on track.

“Wheeler reminds me of a right-handed Matt Moore — he’s that good,” said one evaluator recently. “He’s got really easy gas — tremendous stuff. You could see a situation where the Mets have Wheeler, Harvey and Mejia in the big leagues by the middle of June [2013], and they could have something building.”

The Mets need help in the middle of the diamond, at catcher, in the middle infield, and they may make intermediate moves as they wait for the maturation of their core of young pitching. But they don’t intend to throw around big money, sources say, and while there has been speculation that signing David Wright may require a 10-year investment, the Mets might be much more conservative in these negotiations than expected.

So there you have it, folks. The burden on putting this promising young team over the hump is squarely on the miserly baseball fans of NYC (or those who haven’t already devoted their bank accounts/allegiance to the Yankees).  Earlier today, WFAN’s Mike Francesa argued the Econo-Mets had more than proven themselves worthy of greater fan support, which certainly begs the question, how many games at Citi Field has the broadcaster personally paid to see this season?  Or does he only attend sporting events where he’s seated next to rock royalty?


Michigan Recruit To Buckeyes : Fuck Off

Posted in College Spurts, Gridiron, twitter twatter at 10:01 pm by

OL Logan Tuley-Tillman (Manuel High, Peoria, IL) committed to the University Of Michigan earlier this year.  Recruiting letters have continued to arrive, however, including one from Ohio State.   A photo of OSU’s envelope in flames was posted to Tuley-Tillman’s Twitter acccount, and he claims he’s received death threats as a result.  From The Detroit Free-Press’ Erick Smith :

Tuley-Tillman participated in a Nike Camp in Columbus and was turned off by the behavior of Ohio State fans while he was wearing a Michigan hat.

“I was up there and the fans were cussing me out and they were saying ‘(expletive) you’ and stuff like that while I was walking through the mall,” Tuley-Tillman said. “It wasn’t like in my face. They were like saying things and then would power walk away. One of them actually threw something at me, but it didn’t hit me. So, that’s how it started.”

Those harsh feelings continue for Tuley-Tillman.

“There was just something about them,” he said. “They’re a good school, I just really hate the whole state of Ohio. I just can’t wait to get a chance to play them.”