The Shy, Retiring David Haye Struggles To Come Out Of His Shell

Posted in Boxing at 11:32 pm by

Of his upcoming heavyweight bout against Tony Bellew at London’s O2 Arena this Saturday, former World Champion David Haye has claimed, “even in (Bellew’s) home town of Liverpool, I would be stopped in the street by people begging me to spectacularly send him into retirement.” At a Monday news conference in that very city, Haye was somewhat unnerved by the locals’ support for their fighter, calling the crowd, “fucking retards.” The Guardian’s Mark Dobson :

“I’m really happy you’ve all come out,” Haye said. “Bet all the money you have. Each and every one of you should bet on Bellew to win the fight.

“You know your fighter is going to get drilled. When he comes back to Liverpool be there for him, because he’s going to need you.”

The fighters had to be separated during a feisty press conference but Bellew said: “I’m proud of where I come from and what I stand for. Saturday I’m going to create something that will never die, when I beat Sideshow Bob.

“I’m not going in with an invincible; he was fantastic, in his prime. Still, the single punching, quickest heavyweight in the world. But the gas tank is very low.

“I’m expecting the best David Haye, but it’s not going to be there for very long. When it runs out, the big fat scouser will come through you like a steam train.”


An Important Commericial Announcement From The Entertainment Arm Of Cumbucket Media

Posted in 12XU, Internal Affairs, record collector disease, Rock Und Roll at 2:38 am by

(EDITOR’S NOTE : While our talented team of technicians feverishly attempt to determine why the 12XU website has been down for the past 2 weeks, they’ve been instructed to highlight the label’s March 24 releases in this otherwise-dormant space. Since none of them have been paid in ages, however, I’ve had to do so myself. FUCK ME. – GC)

Gary Wrong Group 2XLP (12XU 092-1)

16 song, career-spanning compilation dragging together the most malevolent bits this Mobile, AL assemblage has released on Gary Wrong’s own Jeth Row label as well as assorted sides for Total Punk, Bat Shit, Scavenger Of Death, Pelican Pow Wow and 3 NEVER BEFORE AVAILABLE COMPOSITIONS. Apocalypse-level murky madness from one of the U.S underground’s most crucial characters. RIYL : sending .zip files to help Levitation Fest’s creditors thru a spate of bad, bad news.

THIGH MASTER – “B.B.C.” b/w “Park Road Clinical” (12XU 103-7)

Brisbane’s Thigh Master make their first U.S. tour this spring and no less an authority than Sir Douglas Mosurock has said the quartet’s ‘Early Times’ debut LP “is loaded with sunny, ragged hooks and big, sloppy singalongs,” likening the combo to, “a lost Flying Nun band.” Both songs on this 7” dial up the ragged / dial down the singalong, but you’re free to try anyway.

– “Surrender The Farm” 4-song 7″ EP (12XU 098-7)

Hailing from Melbourne, Borzoi are a bunch of rite yung fucks who sing about goon sacks and shrimps on barbies. ther new bonzer of asingle ‘sout on 12xu, hit the turps n give it a burl!

(EDITOR’S NOTE : Borzoi are actually from the far northwest corner of Melbourne known as Austin, TX. “Rite” should be spelled, “right”. I have no idea what they mean by “burl”.)

That said, I haven’t seen a better live band in the last two years. That I’ve been under house arrest during that stretch should not diminish the importance of that statement. Either way, Borzoi have pivoted from a powerful debut 7? for Austin’s Pau Wau label to a genre-obliterating, pneumatic noisy-as-fuck-all 4 song EP on 12XU this Spring (more Ron Jonnson than Ron Santo, though I sincerely doubt they’re fans of either). catch the trio on tour this May or watch ‘em from the back of the room like a smug, self-satisfied cultural tourist at SXSW this March.

Preorder any of the above at 12XU.bigcartel.com



Posted in Professional Wrestling at 3:09 pm by

Nobody’s rooting harder for Darby Allin than me. OK, I’m rooting for him to find a new gimmick, but I’m rooting just the same.


Mushnick To Gaga : Please Wear Another Meat Dress (Or I’ll Have Nothing To Write About Next Week)

Posted in Gridiron, Sports Journalism, Sports TV, The World Of Entertainment at 3:34 pm by

NY Post sports media columnist / conscience Phil Mushnick has long been our last line of defense when it comes all sorts (OK, mostly hip-hop) of popular culture invading the sporting sphere and wrecking society what with all the n-bombs and h-bombs and a-bombs and crotch-dusting. And the hip-hop!

Sadly for Phil, this evening’s Super Bowl LI halftime extravaganza doesn’t afford him an opportunity to scold the NFL for allowing Beyoncé to hate the police or to complain that Bruno Mars has never been to Mars (or been a member of Mars). Instead, Mr. Mushnick is reduced to speculating what NC-17 horrors Tony Bennett collaborator Lady Gaga might inflict upon the grand stage that is America’s football showpiece :

What we do know is Lady Gaga isn’t shy. And her outrageous side, as much as her considerable talent as a singer, is why she is famous and why she was engaged. So, like stubbing our toe, we’re conditioned to anticipate pain before we know if it even hurts.

Super Bowls that once featured entertainment by the reliably clean and talented have been replaced by “edgy,” let’s-risk-it talent. Up With People replaced by Down With Pants. That’s the bag we’re in.

Keep in mind, please, the columnist’s offspring must be pushing 30 at this point and he’s still worried MTV’s going to turn them into gang bangers or bang gangers or Bango Tango or Tago Mago or something. But full credit where due, “Up With People replaced by Down With Pants” is almost Norman Chad-esque.