Aging Everquest Enthusiast Tells Adoring Public “I Don’t Look Like Gabe Kapler”

Posted in Baseball at 4:33 am by

Posting at Sons Of Sam Horn Friday, Boston’s Curt Schilling (above) sought to assure his fans that his recent discussions with Red Sox brass were “comfortable” and that “we’ll just have to let hacks and idiots like CHB stir up something that does not exist.”

I’d love to tell you I look like Gabe Kapler with my shirt off, I don’t. However I weigh 243 pounds right now, which is exactly 2 pounds under what I weighed in at at seasons end last year. The clothes make me look fat…….

I’ve forever needed baseball a whole hell of a lot more than it needs me, I’ve always known that. I have also always known that it is a business, even when you don’t want it to be.

Please trust me when I say, and have said, this will have zero bearing on my preperation or performance this season. I don’t pitch for contracts, never have. My three best years were in the first year of new contracts. I pitch to win, just like most of the other guys in this game do.

One of the lines CHB failed to put into the article he wrote a few weeks back was me, on the phone, calling him an asshole. He knows as sure as he’s reading this right now that I think he’s a giant sphincter.

At some point soon he’ll realize that the dislike for him here is not because he’s the guy always taking the ‘other side’ while trying to illicit opinions and responses from readers, but rather he’s disliked because he treats people like shit.

3 responses to “Aging Everquest Enthusiast Tells Adoring Public “I Don’t Look Like Gabe Kapler””

  1. Charles says:

    I’m not up on SOSH slang – why do they call Shaugnessy CHB?

  2. Chuck Meehan says:

    CHB is for Curly-Haired Boyfriend, a term that then-Red Sox player Carl Everett made up. It has since become common shorthand (in and outside of SOSH) in reference to Shaughnessy.

  3. Rog says:

    The first time I saw that, I thought they were referring to a CBJ, which Craigslist enthusiasts will recognize from the sex listings. Maybe if CHB received a CBJ he’d be less of an asshole all the time.

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