You’ve probably all heard about Paul Lo Duca’s freak scene at Shea Saturday evening, and while the New York Times seemed to credit Captain Red Ass for rallying the troops, The Human Whoopee Cushion’s Understudy characterized the Mets’ craddle-robbing backstop as “childish, dumb and embarrassing.” One of Deadspin’s commentators went a step lower, insisting that Paulie Large Nuts “gives a bad name to Dagos everywhere.”
The powers that be seem to concur,having suspended Lo Duca for two games “for his inappropriate actions” the other night. To which I can only reply, fuck off and die, the whole lot of you. Perhaps the Amazins’ (un)Humble Humbert of Home Plate could’ve showed greater restraint, but you don’t rack up impressive 2nd place finishes in the All-Star voting without showing a little emotion every now and then. These assholes are so quick to condemn, but I say, walk a mile in Paul’s Boogie Shoes before passing judgement.
How many of you know what it is like to show up for work with your every move being scrutinized by some 40,000+? Knowing that somewhere in the vast crowd, your 16 year old girlfriend’s dad might be poised to open fire with a concealed handgun? Try explaining to that old crank Glavine that you got crossed up on a pitch because your creditors are heckling you. It’s not all bobblehead dolls and
blowjobs from teens autograph sessions at Last Licks.
Appealing his grossly unfair suspension, Lo Duca is in the Mets lineup tonight, and Carlos Gomez has hit a solo HR off St. Louis’ Mark Maroth, the former Tiger’s first longball allowed in the NL, as New York leads 1-0 in the last of the 4th.