Don’t Tell Mike Krukow He Doesn’t Know The Queen’s English…

Posted in Baseball, Sports Radio, Sports TV at 4:21 pm by

…or he might confirm that she’s ugly, too. The San Jose Mercury News’ Daniel Brown writes that while Krukow once had Giants fans stopping him on the street to complain, “`What are you talking about? You’re speaking a language we don’t understand.”, the pitcher-turned-broadcaster now has grandma in the supermarket exclaiming “grab some pine, Meat!”

The following are excerpts from Brown’s Krukow-to-English dictionary :

BRAIN-DEAD HEAVER n. A pitcher without finesse, who simply throws the ball with all his might. Origin: Krukow didn’t invent this phrase — “It’s been around forever,” he said — but he did use it memorably one night on the air. “I called Jay Howell a brain-dead heaver, and right away our switchboard lit up. A woman from the local anti-defamation league called to say, `I can’t believe that you’re allowing your announcer to call someone a brain-dead Hebrew on the air.’ ”

SHARK BITE n. An inside fastball that lands between the label and hitter’s thumbs, causing the bat to break. Origin: “A shark bite chews up wood,” Krukow said. “The first time I ever heard that was in minor league ball. We had a catcher from the University of Texas named Steve Clancy. He’d come out and say, `Throw that shark-bite fastball.’ ”

STANK-EYE n. A menacing look, usually given by a batter to a pitcher after a brushback. Origin: “A Duane Kuiper-ism, 100 percent,” Krukow said. “He dug deep in the rosin bag one day to come up with that in reference to Marvin Benard, who always had the best stank-eye on the team. Marvin would take an inside-corner strike and act like you were throwing at him.

“We’ve been using it ever since. There have been some really good stank-eyes in history. Will Clark had a good stank-eye. Reggie Smith had a great stank-eye — he had a Ph.D. in stank-eye. Then, toward the end of his career, he had more stank-eye than ability.”

7 responses to “Don’t Tell Mike Krukow He Doesn’t Know The Queen’s English…”

  1. Timothy Cook says:

    I am glad to see this appreciation of Krukow, but it is lacking my favorite of Kruk’s cannonical contributions to grand game’s lexicon: “Dry Hump,” the warming relievers without without eventually bringing them into the game. I couldn’t believe that I heard a bid league announcer be, you know, kinda funny in a clever way.

    Having been subject to 14 years worth of the Seattle firm of Rizzs, Valle, Hendu, Fairly and the legendary but blindly optimistic Niehaus, and having general familiarity with those available on the satellite over the same period, I can say I have never heard a more entertaining homer announcer/color guy in baseball than Krukow.

    Beats the shit out of those horrifyingly boring A’s dudes, that’s for sure. Oh, and that White Sox guy, whatshisname.

  2. Sam Hunt says:

    If it weren’t for Kruk, I wouldn’t care about baseball nearly as much as I do today. I certainly wouldn’t have any need for Extra Innings. He’s awesome.

  3. Kevin says:

    Good lord. Krukow is a complete phony; his whole gee-whiz “grab some pine, meat” stuff is an act, and a really irritating one at that. He’s the one reason I can’t stand listening to Giants broadcasts. Kuiper is fine.

    As to the other one complaining about the “horrifyingly boring A’s dudes”, he has his head completely up his ass. I guess he can’t stand people who actually call the game, instead of going on in a multitude of irrelevant tangents about everything under the sun except for the game.

    Especially, watch FSN Giants games vs. FSN A’s games. Why do you see far less of the actual game, and more idiotic, irrelevant shots of the crowd on Giants broadcasts? Is it because on Giants games, when Bonds isn’t batting, they suspect the “fans” aren’t really paying attention?

  4. Peter says:

    Oh Kevin, they would show the crowd at A’s games if there ever was one.

  5. Dan says:

    Kruk thinks he can read the thoughts of every player– he’s an idiot

  6. Dan says:

    Now I listen to the radio when Kookoe is on TV. That guy irritates the hell out of me. An overpaid IDIOT.

  7. Dan says:

    That guy thinks he can read peoples minds- overpaid IDIOT.

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