ESPN: Astros Outfielder Wants To Shoot You

Posted in Baseball, Firearms at 2:02 am by

A little over a month ago, the Boston Globe ran a long and fairly interesting feature about the popularity of guns among professional athletes. It revealed, among other things, that a majority of professional athletes are carrying at any given time. Jabar Gaffney estimated that “90%” of NFL players come strapped; even more disturbingly, the article revealed that “Yankees pitcher” Carl Pavano carries a gun, which opens the door to dazzling and dangerous worlds of accidental injury previously unimaginable even for Hot Carl. This post is not about that article.

It’s not even really about the ESPN “Outside the Lines” episode that is piggybacking on it. ESPN.com has a feature up encapsulating many of the revelations in said episode, but while some of them are less surprising than others — NBA players live in constant fear of having their expensive jewelry stolen; Karl Malone is both pompous and conservative enough to run against either of Utah’s sitting senators from the right — the article is noteworthy primarily for introducing readers to the new scariest guy in the Major Leagues. Ladies, gentlemen, people wearing Kevlar vests: Luke Scott of the Houston Astros wants to shoot you right in your fucking face.

“An athlete gets paid a lot of money,” he said. “And someone who is after that, a thief, a mugger or someone who steals from people, they are taking a chance with the law that if they get caught, they are going to jail or face some other problem.”

With a broad smile, he added, “In my case, you are going to get shot.”

Ya heard? And the hard-hitting corner outfielder isn’t playing when he says he will put hot ones in you if you fuck with his. Or, well…

Scott recounted a time when he was thankful he was prepared, a late night when he was at a gas station in Texas.

“Last year, we had a lot of people come in from New Orleans to Houston shortly after Hurrican Katrina. There were a lot of people walking the streets. I knew my surroundings. I wasn’t in that good of a part of town and it was 1 o’clock in the morning,” Scott said. “I was by myself and no one was around. I just took my gun and put it right there.”

Scott lifted his shirt to reveal his handgun tucked down the front of his pants, the handle slightly visible.

“I saw this guy about 30 feet away. I’m just watching him, minding my own business and, as he approached me, I said, ‘Can I help you with something?’ Just like that.”

Reenacting the incident, Scott demonstrated how he lifted his shirt to reveal his Glock.

“I could see he had something in his hand behind him, and he stopped, and his eyes got real big and he started stuttering, so you know he’s up to no good.”

Scott raised his arms in mock surrender and continued: “He goes ‘I ain’t gonna lie man, I ain’t gonna lie. All I want is a dollar. I’m gonna go in and buy a beer. I’m not gonna buy food. I’m not gonna buy water. I ain’t begging for money for that. I am gonna buy alcohol with it.’ Just straight up.”

Scott laughed.

“And I looked at him. I said, ‘You stay right there.’ And I just watched him and I reached in my car to the center console, grabbed a dollar, put it right on the hood and said, ‘Go ahead.’ And the whole time my hand was on my gun. I didn’t fire a shot, didn’t even point it at him.”

Unavailable in blog-post format: Bob Ley’s soothing narration and crisp part, and Scott’s almost certainly totally inoffensive imitation of what his “assailant” sounded like.

4 responses to “ESPN: Astros Outfielder Wants To Shoot You”

  1. anon says:

    “grabbed a dollar, put it right on the hood and said, ‘Go ahead.”

    Cheapskate bastard.


    Brandishing weapons is never clever for obvious reasons.

    in this case “Scott demonstrated how he lifted his shirt to reveal his Glock.”

    The other guy could simply reach for his glock, aim and fire before this arrogant outfielder could even draw to respond, then chuckle in satisfaction b/c he’s not going to prison. -the other guy was going for his gun- in a seedy part of town at one in the morning.


    Gun control is a beautiful idea, but right now the Bourgisousie, the criminals, the cops, and the pro sports players and packing, so me and my ho’ gots to be strapped, too.

  2. amy says:

    Wise decision, pick apart Scott, for…………………………… being smart in a volitile situation? Protecting himself? Whether people like it or not it’s our right to carry guns, it’s one of the ways we stay safe, and don’t get hurt, or taken advantage of.

    “The other guy could simply reach for his glock, aim and fire before this arrogant outfielder could even draw to respond, then chuckle in satisfaction b/c he’s not going to prison.”

    Ok, so, he is arrogant because he carries a gun, how so? Also, how would you describe the man who wanted alcohol? A nice guy, just looking to get a buzz? Or a man that would be willing to kill, or cause harm just for some beer?

  3. what a gun freak says:

    Have you lost your fucking mind??? Luke Scott is a nut job. WHo the fuck is he to determine if someone “looks” suspicious. This is the same type of rationale that causes racial profiling. No body was saying this guy was a wierdo for having a gun, no body said it wasnt his right to carry a gun. Hes a fucking lunatic because hes got a itchy trigger finger. Guns are for self defense not intimidation.

  4. Zach says:


    Name calling is not part of an intelligent debate. Luke Scott is not a nut job, nor does he have an “itchy trigger finger.” The armed man that asked for money for beer was carrying a shank of some sort which was visible. So, you can brandish your weapon and aim at the assailant, or you can show him that you are armed and mean business. I believe Luke did the right thing by backing away, and calmly showing he was armed. You don’t need to point a gun at anyone until you intend to use the weapon. In this case, firing the weapon at a gas station was hazardous, and also unnecessary. Again, Luke acted correctly.

    Someone “looking suspicious” is a man that is approaching you toting a shank. In no way is there any implication of the type of person this shank-toting man was. You have to react quickly if someone is approaching you with a weapon, and Luke again did the right thing.

    Put yourself in his situation. Do you have time to gauge someone’s intention while they are approaching you with a shank? If the answer is yes, then you are undeniably not being truthful. There is fear that would overcome you, and also an adrenaline rush that would dictate your action. I probably would have drawn my firearm in this situation. He would have scared me just enough to show him that I’m not here to be overtaken. Showing your weapon in your holster is a defense mechanism to deter your assailant from drawing closer. I don’t think it’s an intimidation tactic what so ever. Someone has a knife, you show them your pistol so they will not attack. I feel that is self defense.

    Call me crazy, but it sure seems that people would act much differently if they have ever been attacked, or threatened by someone carrying some sort of weapon. I have, and I would like to think that I could act as calm and collected as Mr. Scott did in this scenarion.

    Take care,

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