For The Health & Safety Of Ashley Papelbon, Can Her Husband Please Dial It Down A Notch?

Posted in Baseball at 11:34 am by

With the Boston Herald’s Rob Bradford as witness, Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon threw an All-Star shit-fit prior to last night’s contest in the Bronx, claiming his recent remarks about closing the game in favor of Mariano Rivera were reported inaccurately.

œIt just kind of (ticks) me off because if that gets (expletive) written and I™m riding in an (expletive) parade today with my wife so she doesn™t feel safe because some (expletive) from the Daily News says I want to close the game, and that ain™t true, Papelbon said. œSee what I™m saying?

œThat was an easy headline for that (expletive) to say, ˜Yeah, Papelbon wants to close.™ Of course I do, that™s my competitive nature. But I™m stepping away and saying I don™t need to close.

Papelbon offered the same explanation to his manager, Terry Francona, when the two discussed the pitcher™s comments.

œHis point to me, which is really good, was, ˜If I™m closing and I don™t want to close, what kind of closer am I?™  Francona said. œAnd I completely agree.

Papelbon said his biggest problem with the story and headline was how it affected his wife, who is due with the couple™s first child on New Year™s Day.

œMy wife wasn™t comfortable (during the parade), Papelbon said. œShe™s pregnant with a baby. It (ticks) me off. So some (expletive) from the Daily News can get his headline.”

ESPN ran a clip of Papelbon through Monday afternoon and evening, describing why his “World Champion” status merited consideration for closing the game, yet clumsily defering to Rivera as an “elder statesman”.  What music to Mo’s ears it must’ve been, to learn that a first ballot Hall Of Famer like Jonathan Papelbon was willing to step aside for (in his words) “the good of the game”.

If Papelbon has no clue how condescending his tone was, perhaps Terry Francona can explain it to him. There’s no excusing verbal abuse aimed at the reliever’s family, but he’s officially dumber than he looks.  Papelbon’s hamfisted attempt at clarifying his initial remarks only poured kerosene on the fire. There was no shortage of fans —- not necessarily Yankee fans, either —- who believed Rivera deserved to finish the game and it shouldn’t have required an act of charity from Papelbon or Tito for that to happen.

11 responses to “For The Health & Safety Of Ashley Papelbon, Can Her Husband Please Dial It Down A Notch?”

  1. Rog says:

    Bullshit, nobody owes the Yankees anything at the All-Star game. This story was manufactured by the tabs. Did they ask Joe Nathan or any of the other 35 closers on the AL roster if they wanted to close? This was a lazy attempt by the media in the Northeast to stir shit up (for the 15.6 billionth time) between RSN and Yankees Puniverse. Sadly, it worked. People actually gave a shit. Nevermind the fact that the game hadn’t even been played yet and that nobody ever said that Mariano wouldn’t be closing. As a matter of fact, before this big Pulitzer-worthy story came out, several hacks in MSM tried to float the idea of Mariano starting. You can’t have it both ways. The NY media found a more than willing imbecile to sell their papers and plug their All-Star game (because constantly yakking about Josh Hamilton wasn’t really working despite most of the HR derby being turned into a PSA for D.A.R.E.) in Papeldumb because he’s a hick with diarrhea of the mouth and they used it against him. I’m surprised that CSTB is even adding fuel to this fire; It’s just so manufactured.

  2. GC says:

    hey, I don’t think Rivera was owed anything. But Papelbon has to be the most naive person alive to think public sentiment wouldn’t be in favor of Mo closing…and following it up with “you have to remember, we are the World Champions” was tantamount to his putting a bullseye on his own back.

  3. andrew says:

    This dancin’ sub-retard should be mopping the kitchen floors at a cheap crab shack somewhere, though I doubt he’d have the intelligence to even do that right.

  4. Rog says:

    Brilliant, except that he’s a good closer, etc.

  5. kt says:

    sounds like andrew is dissatisfied with his job at long john silver’s.

  6. andrew says:

    I have to take a lot of SHIT in this place but I sure as fuck don’t have to take it at home on the internet too.

  7. Marc says:

    By “home”, you mean “Public Library”.

  8. ben schwartz says:

    Rog — you blaming the East Coast Media?

    My work here is nearly done.


  9. Rog says:

    I’m blaming the tabs, brain surgeon.

  10. Rog says:

    Oh, wait, if I blame the East Coast Media (which, btw, has nothing to do with media bias; east coast media tend to cover east coast teams, BRAIN SURGEON) does that mean you’ll go away forever? Because I might be interested in that type of arrangement.

  11. Ben Schwartz says:

    Rog said:

    >The NY media found a more than willing imbecile to sell their papers and plug
    > their All-Star game

    So you’re giving up your paper route?


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *