04.15.17

It’s Time To Set The Record Straight About One Adolescent’s Failure To Heckle Smash (Of Axe & Smash Infamy)

Posted in Free Expression, Professional Wrestling at 12:03 am by

The following Craigslist advertisement, currently running in the North Chicagoland “General Community” section, was found by Dusty James Hill. I don’t want to hype it up to much, but I think it is a more impressive piece of CL work than this. Or this.

Dear sir,

You were at this show (which must have been of the last pre-Repo Man performances for Smash) in about 1991 or so; the main event was Ultimate Warrior vs The Undertaker… which roughly lines up with that years Summerslam and the WWF’s then-habit of just recycling those main events for months after on house shows.

Anyway, Smash was on the card as a low midcarder, having seen the Demolition push completely destroyed by the arrival of LOD/Road Warriors. But, I was still a pretty big fan of Smash so when he came out, I wormed my way through to the aisle to get a good look at him. You sir, were obviously no fan of Smash and took it upon yourself to yell “Smash, you suck!”

Now, everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion, but you did however, leave me in the lurch when Smash stopped his ring walk and approached the aisle to confront who he assumed had insulted him: Me.

You were clearly much older than me, as you had a loud adult voice. And I’m not sure why he thought a 12 year old could have yelled that powerfully, but who am I to judge. I’m willing to completely let bygones be bygones on this… I just need you to come clean to Smash and admit it was you and get me off the hook.

I now live in Philadelphia and Demolition is coming here to wrestle in what is probably a very small and depressing venue. If he recognizes me, there’s a very strong chance he, like a tiger backed into a corner, feels he has nothing to lose and attacks me. I’m pretty sure he’s an old man and I could probably take him PHYSICALLY, but mentally I would rather it not come to that.

I will do what I can to put you both in touch. I think it’s time we all made our peace. Thank you.

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