Jon Kitna Worships An Awesome, Concussion-Healing Deity

Posted in Gridiron, Religion at 4:35 pm by

There’s a chance that God is not a Detroit Lions fan. Basically everything after Yale Lary retired strongly suggests so. That said, if Jon Kitna is to be believed — and let’s just say up front that he is not — then the Lord was hard at work reducing the swelling that occurred in Kitna’s brain after he (Kitna, not God) was knocked out of last Sunday’s Lions game against the Vikings. The story is from the AP, via ESPN:

Kitna was knocked out of the game against Minnesota on Sunday with a concussion, only to return and lead the Lions to an overtime win over the Vikings.

“I’ve never felt anything like that, and for it to clear up and go right back to as normal as I can be, is nothing short of a miracle,” Kitna said Monday. “I just definitely feel the hand of God. That’s all it was. You can’t explain it.

“I have no headaches, no symptoms, no lingering effects. But that was the worst my head has ever felt, and the worse my memory was in the second quarter. Yet, after halftime there was nothing.”

Kitna said it was the third concussion of his NFL career, and the first since 2001.

After saying he knew who he was during the game, a reporter asked Kitna if he knew where he was.

“Barely,” he said.

So, there you go. Nice to know that God also plays fantasy football. Scary to know that He also reached for Jon Kitna.

2 responses to “Jon Kitna Worships An Awesome, Concussion-Healing Deity”

  1. mark says:

    NFL concussion Guidelines missing crucial element
    summary of concussion policy in the NFL

    Date Released: 08/22/2007
    New Concussion Guidelines are Missing Crucial Element Posted by Jim Dubenetzky under Off The Field News

    You really have to question the new concussion guidelines in the NFL. The guidelines improve what happens after a player suffers a concussion but it does NOTHING to prevent concussions. Concussions are not completely preventable but there is something the NFL could institute that would reduce the likelihood of a player sustaining a concussion.

    Dr. Gerald Maher of Mahercor Laboratiories is a team dentist with the New England Patriots and has developed a medical device that is similar to a mouth-piece that reduces a player’s susceptibility to concussions. Mark Picot, Executive Vice President of Mahercor Laboratories compared the device to a seat belt; it reduces the likelihood of being seriously injured. Most concussions are sustained from blows to the jaw and this device stabilizes the jaw thus reducing the chances of a player suffering a concussion but the Patriot players are the only ones in the league wearing them. Ted Johnson has so much faith in the device that after retired he brought his two nephews to get fitted for the mouthguard. The most impressive stat is that no NFL player wearing The Maher Mouth Guard has ever succumbed to a concussion from a blow to the jaw.

    Dr. Maher has contacted the NFL and commissioner Roger Goodell about his findings regarding concussions and the reasoning behind his device but his words have fallen upon deaf ears at the NFL. The NFL conducts its concussion research with antiquated automotive crash dummies that were designed for the study of automobile crashes not concussions.

    They use a sensor in the center of the dummy’s head to measure energy transfer. It is obvious that a sensor in the middle of a fake head does nothing to measure the energy transfer in the jaw, thus does nothing to study how most concussions are caused.

    Dr. Maher is a respected professional who has fit loads of world-class athletes with The Maher Mouth Guard. Most recently the Arena Football league requested the help of Dr. Maher and his mouthguard. He has worked with six world champion boxers. This doctor knows a way to reduce the number of concussions in the NFL and they won’t listen to him. Why does the NFL refuse to recognize this research and a product that could help them prevent concussions? Perhaps it’s because it would prove their liability because they have known about this prevention and haven’t provided it to their players.

    Whatever the reason may be is moot. There is way to reduce concussions and the NFL is not doing it, meanwhile players are suffering concussions and causing irreparable harm to their brains.


  2. David Roth says:

    Or you could always rely on God’s instant healing, there’s also that.

    That’s an interesting story, though. I enjoy watching football games, and the baroque weirdness of the players, but between the NFL’s remorselessly corporate and inhuman approach in general and the NFLPA and the league’s willful ignorance regarding plight of retired players, I’d definitely say that the NFL’s “ick factor” is rising quickly.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *