Man Attends First College Basketball Game

Posted in Basketball, Blogged Down at 8:28 pm by

Philebrity’s Jersey Dan was lucky enough to score tickets for last weekend’s NCAA Men’s basketball 1st and 2nd round action at the Wachovia Center. We’re even luckier to read his account of said proceedings, all of which qualfies as mind-blowing stuff, particularly if you’ve never seen any college hoops in person. (link courtesy Maria)

This was a total sausage-fest. Most sporting events have this disease, but it was out of control. The few women who were there were oogled like a cupcake at fat-camp. Girls who would normally rank as a 5 (of 10) automatically jumped to a good, solid 7.5. Any real lookers that would rank as a 6 or higher automatically looked like FREE DRUGS.

The Friday afternoon games might as well have been played in a boardroom. Every dude over the age of 30 with a real job (that they clearly called out of to get to the games) was constantly playing with their mobile email devices or on their cell phone. Fucking put them away dude, you are at the closest thing to spring break you™ll ever be on again!

Everyone here dresses like they are about to do yard work. College t-shirt, blue jeans, sneakers. Men, women, children, all in a uniform. If you were wearing a collared shirt you were mistaken for a fashionista. Also, some advice here: If you didn™t go to one of the schools playing, don™t wear your alma mater shirt to the games. No one gives a shit that you went to Merrimack College.

3 responses to “Man Attends First College Basketball Game”

  1. kt says:

    No one gives a shit that you went to Merrimack College

    my dad played basketball for the warriors of merrimack college back in the early 60s. appropriate of nothing i know but it was weird to see the name at cstb.

  2. MC FAN says:

    Actaully I do. Merrimack College is the best.They have the best basketball teams. They also have a very good hockey and football. Men and Women’s basketball have the BEST players like Bobby Murgo, Kenny Jones, Light, Kent Leary ect. And for the girls Joelle Martin, Jenny Smith, Eileen Brosinhan, Krystyn Quist, Julie Higgins, Meghan Leary and Christina Siragusa. How many of you can say that one of your players went to play pro after their college year? Huh? Well Merrimack College’s Joelle Martin that graduated in 2006 is now playing pro ball. They had good players in the past and good coaches in the past like Coach Mac that is now coaching a Divison 1 team in Maine.

    No one gives a shit what you think about Merrimack College. The Merrimack College Warriors are the best.

  3. GC says:


    perhaps you ougtha take it up with Dan from Philebrity, who wrote the above passage more than 7 months ago. But if you actually read it, you’d already know that he was making fun of people wearing Merrimack shirts to a non-Merrimack event, not the school nor their basketball legacy.

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