Oliver Perez Must Die (Don’t Ask Why)

Posted in Baseball at 1:00 am by

But if you must ask (and full apologies to Silver Abuse), Ollie’s inability to get out of the first inning tonight against the monumentally horseshit SF Giants was exactly the sort of thing that drove self-appointed team spokesperson Billy Wagner to distraction a few weeks ago. It’s exactly the sort of non-competitive, show-up-to-get-lit-up bullshit that we’ve not seen since Tom Glavine made his last night start in a Mets uniform. It’s the kind of thing that extinguishes much of the goodwill built by a 5-2 homestand that was nearly preceded with the manager committing career suicide.

Mitigating circumstances
aside, Monday’s 10-2 loss in San Francisco was an embarrasssment. To call Perez “erratic” at this point would be a massive compliment. He’s almost the pitching equivalent of Jamal Crawford, except Crawford isn’t nearly as capable of singlehandedly determining a game’s outcome.

New Orleans OF Chris Aguila was in the midst of a 15 for 25, 7 for 7 spurt against Round Rock tonight when he was finally retired on a warning track fly ball by none other than former Met Jorge Sosa. The Zephyrs beat the Express, 12-4 Monday evening in a lopsided affair that’s most memorable moment — other than David Newhan jogging after balls hit in front of or behind him — was former CNN war correspondent Mike Capps calling New Orleans C Robinson Cancel “a Ninja Turtle”.

4 responses to “Oliver Perez Must Die (Don’t Ask Why)”

  1. Rog says:

    If I were the manager, I’d leave the fucker in just to piss him off. There’s nothing worse than taking a guy like Perez out early and giving him time to leave the stadium before the press even has a chance to grill him. I’d keep him out there even if it meant throwing all 120 pitches in the 1st. If nothing more it would irreversibly fuck up his ERA, WHIP, k/bb ratio, etc and keep him from getting even Kei Igawa comparisons next year. But then again, I’m petty that way.

  2. GC says:

    sorry, Rog, doesn’t Willie already do that to Aaron Heilman?

  3. Dave says:

    Can we maybe petition MLB to count the pitches Ollie threw as batting practice? At least then the final score is a more respectable 4-2.

  4. i used to think ollie was just schizo and that there was “good OP” and “bad OP.” nope, he’s just a full-time f-in headcase now, consistently being inconsistent. brutal to watch…

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