World Series Game 5 : Silver Spoons Stonder Claims The Silverware

Posted in Baseball at 11:19 pm by

Cardinals 4, Tigers 2 (Cardinals win the fucker, 4-1)

Dave Scheid texted me just prior to the start, claiming “Muschnick’s gonna be pissed.” And indeed, he oughta be. Which reprobate decided to let Mike Doskocil throw out the first pitch and sing the National Anthem?

For the 2nd night in a row, Fox saw fit to give us a shot of Mookie Wilson in the stands. See, they do allow black people to attend consecutive games in St. Louis.

Other than Wevie Stonder I pitching the game of his life (again), St. Louis got key contributions (again) from the World’s Scrappiest Human and Yadier Molina. And they watched the Tigers throw the ball all over the park (again).

Nice series, Pudge. Ahead of Adam Wainright in the count, 2-0, and representing the tying run with one out in the 9th, Rodriguez was jammed on the next pitch for a harmless comebacker to the mound.

Subsequently, Wainright was ahead of Polanco, 1-2, and the latter worked out a walk, somehow managing to lay off a low 3-2 pitch. It was right about then I thought Dave Roberts was coming in to pinch run.

On the unlikely resurrection scale, Scott Rolen’s hitting over the past week, while not nearly as big a surprise as Jeff Weaver morphing into a postseason ace, was still an eyebrow lifter given the wrecked left shoulder and Tony La Russa’s determination to bench the St. Louis 3B if need be. I’d like to lower my eyebrows right now, but much like Eddie Money, I think my face is stuck.

The Used Car Salesman made certain to cite The World’s Scrappiest MVP for “playing the game the right way.” Indeed, there was no storyline during this World Series nearly as compelling as Eckstein — despite what Billy Ripken eloquently described as “a lack of talent” — hitting fly balls that might’ve otherwise been caught in normal conditions.

While I respect that David Eckstein is the sentimental MVP choice for everyone who believes in playing the game with limited skills the right way, surely John Mellancamp deserved some consideration.

Anyone know the Vegas odds on who is most likely to choke to death on their own vomit between now and Saturday, Wevie Stonder I or Scott Spiezio?

Bad enough that Fox has dyed-in-Red mouthpieces Buck and McCarver working the microphone, but was it really necessary for the network to have one of the Clydesdales serve as Mistress of Ceremonies after the game?

Congrats to the Cards, their greatest-fans-on-earth and their Genius Manager — the only skipper to win a World Series out of both leagues, other than Sparky Anderson. I just hope St. Louis shows a little more graciousness to the two men most responsible for this victory than they did towards the scout that signed Prince Albert.

In other words, when do Billy Wagner and Jeff Kellogg get measured for their World Series rings?

(Addendum : adding insult to injury, Rebuilding Year points out that Juan Encarnacion is now a two-time (Evening) Whirled Champ. Even worse, so is Braden Looper.)

7 responses to “World Series Game 5 : Silver Spoons Stonder Claims The Silverware”

  1. Rog says:

    GODDDDDDDDDDD! You sound almost as pathetic as Red Sox fans who, despite winning the World Series two years ago, still insist on rehashing the 1986 Buckner choke job as well as the 2004 season ad nauseum. For godsakes, please stop embarrasing yourself with that horrific ‘Wevie Stonder’ crap and admit that baseball is the greatest sport of all specifically BECAUSE you can’t predict who will have the balls of steel when it counts and who won’t. Jeff Weaver is Derek Lowe-light…sucks in the regualr season, but then grows huge balls in the post-season. All of Detroit’s hitters became Rod’s, if you know what I mean, while some punk kid named Eckstein actually HIT THE BASEBALL WHEN IT COUNTED. For godsakes, quit acting like the Mets don’t have a good team, good management and a chance to win it next year. You have New England roots, right? Dude, cut those ties and start acting like you’ve got a life. There’s a reason why Northeast Liberal-types have become the personification of what’s wrong with the left…because they whine and they’re easy to make fun of. Jesus, just admit that Tony the Tiger is a decent manager and vow to kick his ass next year, you lousy fuck. God, all that whining is making me want to go out and vote for whoever Hillary’s running against, whatever his name is.

  2. GC says:


    Indeed, baseball is the greatest sport of all because no amount of weed consumption can prevent the likes of Wevie Stonder I from having his moment in the sun.

    (we can only pray that when and if Spicolli is inducted into the Hall Of Fame, he considers wearing his Yankee cap on the placque)
    I remain confident the Mets have a good team, good management (ie. deep pockets) and a chance to win it all next year.

    (As do the Atlanta Braves. )

    I don’t know how many more times I can call the Cardinals’ manager a genius. He is without a doubt the smartest man who ever had no idea one or two or three of his players were shooting each other up in a toilet stall.

    Yes, I have New England roots. The last person to call me a “you lousy fuck” was Tom Ellis.

    I’m not sure if democracy really works, but if Hillary Duff is running for something, by all means, knock yourself out.

    There’s noting quite so fitting as being told to “get a life” by someone who is taking issue with CSTB content at 3:34 am on a Saturday morning. Who better to take such advice from?

  3. Kwame Kilpatrick says:

    This was probably the most poorly played WS I can remember, both ways. The Tigers simply played worse. Whether it was the layoff, the weather, or the result of Jim Leyland banning PFP, Detroit (beyond Casey and Guillen) played collectively horrendous baseball. Thing is, the Cards weren’t much better…no sour grapes or anything (well, maybe a little), but this has to be the worst World Champion in…forever. It took a team displaying all the poise of a 5th place finsher in the 11-12 year old Royal Oak Rec League to turn that bunch into World Champs.

    Perhaps Jeff Weaver has finally found a clubhouse in which he’s not loathed. Congrats!

  4. JeffWeaver4God says:

    everybody knows that Khalil Greene is spicoli.

  5. Mike says:

    Rog –

    Just because your team won doesnt mean everyone has to become a Cards fan.

    “There’s a reason why Northeast Liberal-types have become the personification of what’s wrong with the left…because they whine and they’re easy to make fun of.”

    In the context of a baseball conversation, this has got to be the most ridiculous, ignorant, and irrelevant comment I’ve read in this space or perhaps anywhere else.

    Even more so since a) the only one whining in this exchange is you, and b) I cant read your comments without laughing at you.

  6. JJ says:


    Did we forget basically the same core group of guys won more games than anyone in MLB in both 2004 and 2005? Maybe if you paid more attention to whats been going on in the league the past few years you’d know STL is dangerous enough to beat any team, any time, any where.

    See you in the playoffs yet again next year, hahaha.

  7. GC says:

    same core of guys? You have to be kidding. Did the 2005 Cards feature the multidimensional talents of the Rasberry Scroatee or Braden Looper. Did the 2004 Redbirds sport the World’s Scrappiest Human? How many World Championships has St. Louis won since 1982 without those 3 stooges on their roster? That’s right, smart guy, ZERO.

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