(above, aspiring space-traveler guilty of spreading falsehoods about your long-suffering editor)

Ken,

a couple of small corrections, sir. I was not FIRED by your wonderful radio station. I was SUSPENDED after revealing a prank caller’s number over the air. I resigned effective the date of my final show, which was the week following my suspension.

The following was not mentioned during “Seven Second Delay” this week ; a) I was filling in for Chris T. during “Aerial View”. The caller had routinely been harassing Chris, not me. None of this occurred on my fabulously popular program,  b) I did warn the child in question his number would be revealed if he continued to call, c) I did not call him back on the air, d) I disavow any responsibility for his family receiving obscene calls in the middle of the night.

At the time of my suspension, I was told I’d raised the ire of HEAVY FINANCIAL CONTRIBUTORS to WFMU (“JM in The AM” listeners, supposedly), I have no idea if this is true or not, but given the established precedent, as a financial benefactor of WFMU I shall insist that if you don’t set the record straight next week that you are suspended, without pay, for somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 seconds. This ancient incident taught me something — don’t fuck with the people who control the purse strings (even if they shouldn’t be allowed to raise children). Now it is your turn to learn this valuable lesson.

Gerard Cosloy
Austin, Texas