Much as I give a fuck about the future of the universe, kowtowing to our brutally flawed 2 party system will have to wait another 2 hours. Or at least until halftime, as this Champions League clash of the titans is currently on that repository of fringe programing formerly known as “the Deuce”.

Earlier today, visiting Chelsea beat PFC CSKA Moskva, 1-0 to advance to the next stage of the competition.