(Haines, shown pitching for UT Pan-American in 2005. Photo by Diamond Doll51, used without permission)

Mets prospect Timothy Haines, a 27th round selection in this June’s Amateur Draft, has been suspended for 50 games after testing positive for a performance enhancing substance.

Von LMO was unavailable for comment.

Writes Jon Heyman in his Friday entry at SI.com,

The Mets are willing to include highly prized outfielder Lastings Milledge in a deal with the Marlins for Dontrelle Willis but are under the impression that it would take their top two prospects, Milledge and right-handed pitcher Mike Pelfrey, to land Willis. And one Mets exec said, “Pelfrey isn’t going anywhere.’

That’s a little harsh. You’d hope they’d at least let him go on road trips.

(is Cliff Floyd a) hitting his 4th HR in his last 8 games or b) telling Death Wish what he can do with that horrible fucking version of “Wonderwall” or c) both?)

With the happy memories of the Mets’ 4-2, ten inning win over the Reds yesterday afternoon still running through their systems like so many performance enchancing substances that haven’t been fully expelled, the following sage observers crank the gloat-meters up to 11.

I wouldn’t necessarily have the foam finger I’ve had surgically attached to my right hand removed if we had lost the getaway game to Cincinnati, but the resilience and stubbornness on display at Great American is a good example of what separates us from the Reds-raff. We’re the team that found ways to head off leadoff rallies inning after inning. We’re the team that threw balls to the right bases and made convincing enough tags to sway flighty umps. We’re the team whose fourth and fifth relievers could be at least set-up men for many others. We’re the team that salvages Chavezes and destroys opponents’ dreams with them. – Greg, Faith & Fear In Flushing

Did I really say that Omar should give Jose Valentin his walking papers back in May? Guilty as charged. Now I™m thinking ˜Stache could be thrown in the Mets MVP mix. Think about it. The Mets had a choice of the over paid and underwhelming Kazuo Matsui and defensive whizz/weak bat Anderson Hernandez and ended up with a big bat and steady defensive second baseman in Valentin.

˜Stache is hitting at a .286/.332/.537 clip with 10 HR 15 Doubles and 37 RBI. He ranks 6th overall in home runs by a 2nd baseman, 1st in SLG and 5th in OPS. Plus he has been more than adequate in the field. If Valentin had not stepped up then what would have been of 2nd base? I still think KazMat would have been traded as it was time to go and AHern had injuries and a suspect bat. Maybe Jeff Keppinger would have been given a shot or a costly deal with Tampa Bay for Julio Lugo would have gone down. That™s why it™s not a stretch to think of ˜Stache as a Mets MVP. – Steve, The Eddie Kranepool Society

So does the amphetamines rule in MLB count for broadcasters too? You’ve gotta love all of Keith Hernandez’s “Kineresque” malapropos that were no doubt caused by the day game after the night game…but especially when thrown against the canvas of today’s constant Gary And Keith theme: How the new “greenies” rule would affect a game like this:

“Has Glavine thrown a change up today, Keith?”

“I have to pay more attention.”
From a man paid good money to pay attention (money provided in part by our cable bills I might add).

And after that came Hernandez’s observation that Bronson Arroyo was going to throw some dipsy-doo curve balls to try to get Fluff Castro to hit into a double play with runners on first and third and two outs.

Not surprising to also learn during the game that Keith had never heard of Red Bull. Silly gold glover, Red Bull gives you clarity!

Gary Cohen obviously had his Red Bull…he’s probably the first broadcaster in history to use the word “laborious” during a day game after a night game. Can Elias look something like that up?Metstradamus

Our man started yesterday, and went 2 for 2, with a double and a walk. So what does our brilliant manager, Jerry Narron, do? He removes Edwin Encarnacion from the game!

Let the guy play, Narron!!! What is wrong with the manager of this team? Why can™t he just let this talented youngster play? Does Narron really think that Encarnacion should be the backup 3B on this team?Redleg Nation

In addition to catching up with Anderson Hernandez in his daily Mets blog, the New York Daily News’ Adam Rubin had the pleasure of hanging out with Tom Hanks, Ron Howard and Dennis Miller during Tuesday’s rain delay at Great American Ballpark. The trio are apparently touring a number of ballparks this week as part of Hanks’ 50th birthday celebration. While I’ll grant you that Hanks has come a long way since “Bosom Buddies” (but perhaps not so far from Andrew Earles’ personal favorite, “Nothing In Common”), if I reached a half century on this mortal coil and Dennis Miller was one of my best friends, I’d seriously consider suicide. Or at least making more friends.

The Journal News’ John Delcos gives the Mets’ role-players considerable credit for their vast contributions in ’06. Fair ’nuff, I suppose, but I personally got sick of Chris Woodward’s sad-sack routine as Johnny Drama on “Entourage” a long time ago, and now I just wish the entire cast would get VD and die (sorry, Chris).

It’s John Maine vs. former Phillies product Taylor Bucholz, with the first pitch happening in a few minutes at Shea. El Duque was scratched from his scheduled start due to damp weather. I don’t know which part of him was scratched, but I sincerely hope it wasn’t his eyes, as those pretty sensitive.

Getting Paid To Watch’s Bob Sikes has some firsthand experience with Blue Jays manager John Gibbons, and he’s amongst those hailing Gibby for “lancing the boil” in his dealings with Shea Hillenbrand. Leave it to a former athletic trainer to totally ruin my lunch, but I appreciate the analogy just the same.

Would you have been gullible enough to have believed this? Had I seen or heard about it, not only would I have bought it, the prospect of E-Rod coming over the NL East would’ve brought as much joy to my afternoon as a Mellencamp Rock Block sans novocaine. On the other hand, the prospect of watching The Third Baseman (who presumably, would return to SS) contend with the Philly Phans would’ve been as great as hydrocodone (sans the Mellencamp Rock Block)