Blatant Localism Dept: Please direct any complaints about the following piece being “too Chicago” to [email protected]
Eight Reasons Chicago Was Rejected For 2016 Olympic Games
1) Despite city proposals, the Graft Toss, 400-Meter Cash-Stuffed Envelope Delivery and Pothole Hurdles all rejected as Olympic events.
2) IOC committee members confused and frightened by bellowing Oprah Winfrey.
3) In an oversight, Olympic torch runner routed past Mrs. O™Leary™s barn.
4) Frank Gehry design model for Olympic Stadium mistaken for nouvelle cuisine dessert, tragically eaten during presentation.
5) Rio De Janiero thong bikini slide show scheduled after Tinley Park thong bikini slideshow.
6) Selection Committee distracted by rash of YouTube clips of wordless, giggling, hand-rubbing South Side real estate speculators.
7) Daley plans to privatize entire Olympics in a 75-year $1 Billion deal met with disfavor.
8 ) In retrospect, Weiner™s Circle on Clark St. identified as poor choice for exclusive concessions contract.
9) Chicago’s boring.
If anything, this wasn’t local enough. It should have included parting shots at specific pita joints that shortchanged you in winter of 1998, or the names and phone numbers of ex-girlfriends who quit talking to you once they met some asshole lawyer with a popped collar and an Audi. Also, something about Nelson Algren.
Hey Rog-only boring people get bored.
its too bad Chicago lost its olympic bid, i think it would be great stimulus for the local economy in tough recession 🙁
on a happier note the Vancouver 2010 winter olympics are only days away, and despite some people crying over cost over runs, i am glad we finally get to host the games 🙂