Concacaf President Jack Warner resigned Monday, and while the mountain of ethical violations he’s accused of seem like enough smoke to hint at a bigger blaze, The Guardian’s Barry Glendenning and Simon Burnton liken it to a scene in which “the fire brigade has been called, Henry Kissinger and Placido Domingo are running down the hall with a bucket of water and people are leaping from the upper floors of the turns out there’s still no fire.”

How has Fifa reacted to Warner’s decision? After all, this is a man they reprimanded over the sale of thousands of tickets to the 2006 World Cup through his family firm, who they were investigating over allegations of bribery and who had only recently been cleared after allegations of corruption from our own Lord Triesman, which had apparently made Warner “laugh like hell”?

Er, by unleashing a lachrymose press release praising Warner’s contribution to world sport, that’s how. “Mr Warner is leaving Fifa by his own volition after nearly 30 years of service, having chosen to focus on his important work on behalf of the people and government of Trinidad & Tobago,” they blubbed. “Fifa thank Mr Warner for his services to Caribbean, Concacaf and international football over his many years devoted to football at both regional and international level, and wish him well for the future.”

No fire here, folks. Move along now.