Germany 4, Costa Rica 2

(he may or may not be tactically naive but there’s one thing about Juergen we can all agree upon : no one thought his attempt to lead the crowd in a rendition of “California Uber Alles” was amusing.)

I’m not sure which of the following did more to mess with my head today :

a) Waking just in time to see Juergen Klinsmann and Michael Ballack practically making out after Philpp Lahm’s opening goal

b) “SportsCenter” featuring a pop-up window of Tommy Smyth explaining the nuances of when and why a corner kick is allowed (coming soon : Joe Morgan on the Infield Fly Rule and the Mysteries Of The Reproductive System)

c) the sqawksters on XM’s dedicated World Cup channel expressing wonderment over how Costa Rica could’ve been competitive despite a mere two shots on goal (coming soon : basketball players are tall and subscription radio services suck wildly)

The Times’ Rick Broadbent —- excellent, by the way, in Terry Zwigoff’s latest, “Art School Confidential” — isn’t ready to turn the Cup over to Germany just yet.

Even if the glass is wired up to electrodes there is a nagging feeling in the more realistic parts of the host country that it may also be half empty. Four goals, three points and one banana skin deposited in the bin failed to paper over the cracks in a porous defence, and it remains to be seen whether Germany can continue to suspend disbelief as successfully as they suspended women dressed as lampshades 50 feet in the air during the opening ceremony.

Devoid of Teutonic stereotypes, Jürgen Klinsmann™s Germany have received flak for everything from being too cavalier to using a sports scientist who believes in using electrodes on drinking water. The mere mention of the devices conjures up wonderful images of Klinsmann in Dr Frankenstein garb and, certainly, two soft goals, neatly put away by Paulo Wanchope, mean that cynics will view his side as a mish-mash of iffy parts operating at the B éla Lugosi end of the beautiful game. œThese are perfectly normal mistakes, Klinsmann said candidly before saying there were still some training sessions to come.

Germany showed a modicum of class in Munich, but the big guns will take solace from their staccato efforts. For the neutrals, however, it is to be hoped that, after so many dull openings to tournaments, this ripsnorter was a portent of attacking football rather than a crowd-pleasing cameo between teams who cannot defend.

Tonight’s FSC rebroadcast of Sky Sports News revealed that the England F.A. have sent Ray Winstone to Germany to serve as a “fan ambassador”.  Having seen Winstone do-his-thing in Tim Roth’s “Nil By Mouth”, this seems like a very curious move.  Unless he’s meant to scare the living daylights out of children (young girls in particular), in which case, the F.A. know exactly what they are doing.

The Guardian’s Georgina Turner opens the floor to a healthy discussion about flag-waving ettiquette.  Every four years, we can all come together to try and answer burning questions like “do they have chavs in Brazil?”

Wisdom Weasel, I’ll see your Alan Partridge and raise you a Peter Kay.