Jon Soloman says this isn’t his best, but unless he can claim some Melissa Joan Hart-with-a-cock fakes as part of his handiwork, this will have to do. Congrats, Jon! Your prize pack is in the mail!

By the way, UCLA 78, Belmont 44

In what would easily be the day’s biggest shockers not hailing from Wichita State, no. 16 seed Southern are hanging around with Duke, trailing 42-37 with about 13 minutes left in Greensboro. No. 12 seed Texas A&M are leading no. 5 seed Syracuse, 45-41 in Atlanta with less than 8 minutes to go.

Verne Lundquist has declared Ohio State, “a team I’m watching, out of the Big Ten”. Which, at this juncture, is pretty darn responsible of him. People of America, you’ve heard the Vernster loud and clear. Focus your attention on a team that narrowly missed being a no. 1 seed, if you can dig that deep.

Cingular are doing their best to work the jealousy angle, so much so that I fondly recall the days when penis anxiety was exploited with advertisements for automobiles. I’m not measuring our collapse as a culture or anything, but until they come up with a cell phone that doubles as a gun, I’m not impressed.