In my nearly 4 decades of watching college football, I’ve never seen a ball dislodged during a goal-line leap, run back the length of the field for a touchdown. And I’ve never seen a blocked PAT attempt recovered by the defense in the end zone, only to be ruled a one-point safety.

Today, I saw both of these things take place within an hour of each other. It was either this local derby, the Bridget Jones sequel, the Shelley Long death watch or go buy Ben Schwartz his Cubs smoking jacket. I’m sure you’ll agree I made the right choice.