(pt. I)
(pt. II)

There’s no better way to kick off SXSW 2007 than by perusing Misprint’s “SXS Whatever Issue”, featuring a self-proclaimed “Almighty Club Guide” so uncannily accurate, it’s almost as though the venue owners were allowed to write their own blurbs.

Antone’s, 213 W. 5th St. – In a safe hidden behind the portrait of Clifford Antone there is a homemade porno tape starring Stevie Ray Vaughn, Bono and Dr. John and directed by none other than Antone himself.

Friends, 208 E. 6th – “Helping Ugly People Get Laid SInce 1998” is their official slogan. What a great positioning statement. So, if you’ve ever wanted to go to a bar that’s got worse tail than the local zoo, knock yourself out.

Headhunters, 720 Red River – It’s a little known fact that if you walk in and yell, “Alright, which one of you pussies thinks he’s the toughest motherfucker in here?” you get all your drinks for free.