(from this vantage point, it’s impossible to tell which of the above individuals is wearing stripper heels)

Though he’s presumably press-boxing-it-up for the Yankees’ exhibition meeting tonight with the Pirates, the Journal News’ Peter Abraham plans to attend four or five games this season sitting in the grandstand amongst schmoes like you and me (or at the very least, like you). “It™s fun to watch a game and not have to worry about coming up with a story afterward” writes Abraham, but probably not as much fun as compiling a list of “Ten People To Avoid At the Ballpark”. Amazingly, that “Freddy Sez” guy isn’t one of them!

2. Drunks. Why would you spent so much money on tickets, gas and parking and then crush so many $8.50 beers that you can™t remember half of what happened the next day? It makes no sense. Meanwhile, they™re loud, obnoxious and usually fans of the other team.

Peter, you had me until the very last sentence. While no stadium in the big leagues has a monopoly on assholes, can anyone who attends 4 or 5 Yankee home games a year reasonably insist most of the troublemakers are “fans of the other team”?

3. Know-it-alls. Nothing worse than sitting next to the guy who knows somebody who knows Cashman™s dry cleaner and he knows for sure the Yankees are getting Albert Pujols.

Damn right. I’ve never been to figure out how Jim Kaat and Ken Singleton put up with it, either.

7. People who swear at the players. How badly has your life gone that you feel compelled to come to the park and yell obscene words at somebody playing baseball? Trust me, when the player goes back to his huge house and his insanely hot wife that night, you calling him names doesn™t make him feel bad.

It probably doesn’t make him feel that great, either.

9. Trampy girls at batting practice. This always brings a smile. No matter what stadium you™re in, you see scantily clad women in stripper heels posing near the dugout trying to catch the attention of the players. This strategy may work in the minors. But do you really think Jeter is going to look up and say, œHey, purple halter, Room 812 at the Westin tonight.

Good point. There’s a time and a place for trampy women to try and attract the attention of The Captain, and batting practice certainly isn’t it.