(above : footage of an instructional film shown to all Pirates minor leaguers)
After looking like a bona fide playoff contender for much of 2012, the Pittsburgh Pirates’ recent slide threatens to ensure the club’s streak of consecutive losing seasons hitting the 20 year mark. Earlier this month, the club’s plans to have prospects learn at the feet of Navy SEALS was roundly mocked by the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review’s Dejan Kovacevic, who reiterated his earlier complaints Thursday night (“these aren’t soldiers, they’re baseball players”). Kovacevic’s low opinion of the Pirates’ player development strategy seems to be shared by whoever in the organization leaked an email composed by Assistant General Manager Kyle Stark that was sent to Pittsburgh’s minor league coaches and managers.
“So what do we need to get done in the second half?” Stark opens the email.
He then stresses developing “boys into men” for the purpose of reaching the majors, listing three points: “Dream and be creative like a Hippie. Have the discipline and perseverance of a Boy Scout. Be crazy and take risks like the Hells Angels.”
Yeah, those Hells Angels. The famous motorcycle club that is listed as an organized crime syndicate by the U.S. Department of Justice. The one that poses “a criminal threat” in 27 nations because of drug trafficking, theft, money laundering, extortion, assault and homicide.
More Stark: “The biggest impact we can have is developing more Hells Angels. We are really good at working before games. We excel at developing Boy Scouts. However, men play in the Big Leagues and that requires the reckless abandon of a Hells Angel. They’re not consumed or swayed by what others think. They sell out to their purpose and live life fully and in-the-moment (‘this pitch’).”
The nonsense goes on for several paragraphs, including this cultish creepiness: “At the end of the day, the Hells Angels are fiercely loyal to each other. … They love each other. Are our players bound by brotherhood? Are we bound by brotherhood?”
And this: “We must get out of our comfort zones and flex our own Hells Angel muscle. We must be extreme in our commitment to these ideas. This is ultimately about developing a mentality and a culture where this becomes our identity. A culture of risk and less control is unsettling for us control freaks!”