I could write at length about a bunch of bands and parties you don’t really care about (and trust me, I’ll be doing so soon enough), but given the sensibility of the CSTB reader(ship), I’ll instead forward a special piece of text message madness that’s making the rounds.  Here’s your backstory :  guy (NOT ME) purchases a cell phone.   Salesman who sold him the cell phone thinks it might be fun to, y’know, bond after work hours.  Let the awesomeness begin :

Man sorry I missed your show right now bro I’m fucked up on [email protected] the fader fort w my homie dave. We got mad dank too. So I’m getting fucked up today. Dude fuckin kick every single person who shows up to your show righ in the asswhole, with rock. Dude, we need to party later later dude. I’ll hit you up or vise versa naw mean I WILL see you tomorrow definatly at the red eyed fly.