If we’re to believe a recent item in the Memphis Commercial Appeal, the Clippers could’ve had Mike Miller
and his ugly fucking haircut for a mere pittance. The LA Times’ Mark Heisler, mindful of Donald Sterling’s long history of ineptitude, tells the owner, “even for you, this confluence of events is breathtaking in its dysfunction.”
You didn’t just roast Mike Dunleavy on a spit for The Times’ T.J. Simers, you had team President Andy Roeser and basketball VP Elgin Baylor sitting in, like Harpo and Chico Marx backing up Groucho.
It was like a royal proclamation: Dunleavy, whom you had given more power than any coach or general manager, was officially out of favor.
Dunleavy then publicly dared you to fire him, dropping him even further, to your seventh circle of hell, where he’s still being basted today.
How surprising was it that three days later, as Dunleavy tried to put the story to bed, Roeser gave him another official reprimand rather than back his story about talking to you personally or, at least, minimizing it.
(I don’t think Dunleavy’s story, which he recanted, amounts to breach of contract, but I’m sure you’ve researched that point.)
Now everything has gone back to the way it was, and we know who’s in charge . . .
For the maraschino cherry atop the sundae of this farce, you just blew a chance to make a trade that would have been like the Pau Gasol deal’s little brother.
With half the league trying to steal Mike Miller, the Grizzlies finally offered him to you for the expiring contracts of Sam Cassell and Aaron Williams and your No. 1 pick.
Unfortunately, it had to go through channels to be carried on a pillow into your office in Beverly Hills, so you with your vast expertise could turn it down.
Of course, you’re a busy man and wouldn’t know Mike Miller from a bottle of Miller Lite. That’s why you have underlings, to try to reach you and explain these things.