(above, Gosling in an earlier, not nearly as hot dog-related role)

Just when I thought the Boston Globe being fed stories about Terry Francona popping pills in lonely hotel rooms was the height of investigative sports journalism, god bless the Santa Rosa Press Democrat’s Julie Johnson on garnering the scoop of the century ; a chat with the doofus who threw a hot dog at Tiger Woods during the Frys.com Open.

“I threw the hot dog toward Tiger Woods because I was inspired by the movie ‘Drive,'” 31 year-old Petlaluma native Brandon Kelly said. “As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, ‘I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger.’”

Kelly declined to elaborate on his motivation and said he had initially hoped to remain anonymous.

“I honestly wish Tiger the best. One day I hope he breaks Jack Nicklaus’ record,” Kelly said. Golf legend Nicklaus won 18 major championships during his professional career. Woods has won 14.

And in reference to comments at the scene, including by one player, that he could have been harmed by law enforcement, Kelly added: “Did I think I could be shot like some people were saying? Absolutely not.”