If dwil wasn’t previously on Big Sexy’s radar, I suspect that will change very shortly. I’ll only print an excerpt from the former’s imagined interview with Fox Sports’ Jason Whitlock (above), mostly because you really have to read the entire thing. But partially because I don’t wanna be responsible if you so laugh so hard you have a stroke.

œLissen dude. It™s time for some real talk. And when you write that sit, make sure you capitalize the œR and the œT ™cause that™s the way I spell it, that™s my column name, forever – feel me?

œNow I haven™t read anything you wrote about me. No need to. I know everybody talks about me. Good, bad, ugly. I don™t give a shit. I™m chasin™ real talk. I™m the new black voice of America. That™s why I™m at Fox. I shitted on Lupica right on television. Ever see that Sports Reporters segment?

œOf course you did. Everybody saw my big, sexy ass fuck that white boy up. Fuck Lupica. I™m the man.

œI fucked up Scoop, too. I put the Big Sexy on his little, scrawny ass. Sat on him like I used to do to those little-ass wideouts in the MAC conference. I squashed the biggest white sports voice in America. Then I went and fucked up the biggest black sports voice in America. That™s the way a real playa does shit.”