With Alexei Ramirez’ game-tying tenth-inning blast setting the table for the White Sox’s Tuesday night 3-2 victory over Cleveland, the talk of the Windy City continues to be about an infielder named Ramirez. But confusion reigns! As it turns out, one media-darling ballclub also has an A. Ramirez on the field. Obviously, the multitudes need some help in keeping the attention where it belongs. CSTB readers, too. So clip n’ save this handy table and wonder no longer who the real A. Ramirez of Chicago is.

Aramis Alexei
3B 2B
On family leave Leaving Cleveland behind in AL Central
Prefers middle and outside pitching Prefers pitches that approach the plate
Nickname: Cologne-boy Nickname: The Cuban Missile
Plays for America's team Plays for Chicago's Team
Power Hitter 90-lb. Power Hitter
ramireztakethepicture.jpg "Take the fucking picture" alexei90x135.jpg "May I Play Your Game?"
Average speed Already stole second
Hides behind family to break slump Hides behind foul pole for giggles
Managed by intense veteran Managed by Hugo Chavez
Hobby: Cockfighting Hobby: Naming children Alexei and Alexa
Not as cool as Manny
Much, much cooler than Manny