Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Living In The Shadow Of Superstar Tom Candiotti

Posted in Baseball, The World Of Entertainment at 12:17 pm by

I’m not sure how I missed what missed have been a top-rated run for the Stephen Furst-hosted “Payback”, but there’s some consolation.  After many years, I’ve finally found something  Tom Candiotti-related on the net that’s harder to explain than this.

The Dream’s Real Nightmare : Suffering Fools, Not So Gladly

Posted in Basketball, Fashion at 11:42 am by

Thrillist saw fit to grill retired NBA C Hakeem Olajuwon about his newly launched “The Dr34m” fashion line, though it’s doubtful the former Rockets icon had a prior hint he was gonna receive such Narduwar-esque treatment (thanks to David Williams for the link)

You’re an entrepreneur. Have you ever thought of making an after-workout drink called the Dream Shake, and what would be in it?
Really, no. I’ve thought about an actual milkshake. But your idea is better. I like vanilla and strawberry. With banana. You’ve gotta be creative.

How else do you apply the Dream Shake to your life?

A classic example of that is fashion. Take cashmere. It’s a formal fabric, sports coats, overcoats. I’d bring it down, make it casual. But it’s cashmere. People aren’t used to seeing it in a casual environment. That’s a Dream Shake. Shaking from formal to informal.

So misdirection is key to your style off the court?

Yes. The key to fashion is, you don’t want to look like you’re trying. You’ve gotta be natural. But what you throw on is making a huge statement without you talking. That’s the Dream Shake. Or you could call that a crossover.

Have you ever thought about making Phi Slamma Pajammas?

No, but I am going to do the Dream House collection. A lot of bedspreads, towels. But this is a good idea that you gave me, I’m adding it to the collection. That’s what’s so good about building your own brand. Any good idea, you can add it to the collection. That’s the creativity.

When Nene came into the league, everyone compared him to you. How did you feel about that?

Who is he?

He’s a Brazilian player, for the Nuggets.

I don’t know, I’m not familiar with him. You have to hurry up now because my battery is dying.

Okay, real quick then: did you ever play the video game NBA Jam?



A Challenge To The Authenticity Of Chris Bosh

Posted in Basketball at 10:28 pm by

During his prior tenure in New Jersey, Keyon Martin was once labeled “fugazy” by the Knicks’ Tim Thomas, who might’ve taken an equally dim view of Heat F Chris Bosh’s attempts to lay hands upon Oklahoma City F James Harden. OKC teammate Kevin Durant became the latest in Bosh’s long line of critics this season, with the following postgame remarks provided by the Oklahoman’s Darnell Mayberry.

“He was telling Harden to dunk on me,” Bosh said. “He said dunk the next one. I expressed that, no, he’s not going to dunk that. And he expressed, yes he is. We just kind of went back and forth. I don’t think it was anything to get a tech over. It was just talking.”

Video replay showed Durant starting to walk away before Bosh began talking. Durant then stopped and barked back.

“I was talking to my teammate and he decided he wanted to put his two cents into it,” Durant said. “I’m a quiet guy, a laid back guy. But I’m not going to let nobody talk trash to me. He’s on a good team now so he thinks he can talk a little bit. But it’s a lot of fake tough guys in this league and he’s one of them.”

“I’m no punk,” Durant said. “I wasn’t even talking to him, first-off. He decided to butt in. I’m not just going to let that slide, especially in our house. He’s not one of those guys that I look at and say he has a rep for talking back to guys or always getting into it. He’s a nice guy. He’s not one of those guys. So I’m not going to let that type of person say something to me like that.”

Kitna : CNN.com Is A Gateway Drug To Porn Addiction

Posted in Gridiron, Religion, The Internet at 8:00 pm by

If you don’t totally follow the logic of Cowboys QB Jon Kitna, be advised he comes to the pulpit a man who’s already had a serious chat with G-d. Also be advised that if you believe the religious fervor of Kitna and Matt Hasselbeck is worthy of mockery, well, you might as well be laughing at Stephen Baldwin, too.

For The Umpteenth Time, CSTB’s Award Winning Pro Bowl Chili Recipe

Posted in Food, Gridiron at 1:04 pm by

(the Hooded Casanova, deep in thought after being told he’s missing quite a feast today)

(the following was first posted on February 8, 2004).

Excuse me for having to spell this one out for our European readers. Pro Bowl Sunday is a BIG event for Americans. All over the country, families come together for Pro Bowl Parties. Advertisters pay hundreds of dollars to televise commercials featuring their newest products. Each year on Pro Bowl Sunday, battered womens’ shelters report the number of victims admitted to their care decreases by two percent, testament to the calming nature of the contest . If the NBA All-Star Game is, in the words of Michael Wilbon, Black Thanksgiving, then the Pro Bowl is sort of like Yom Kippur for Gambling Degenerates & Football Obsessives of All Races.

In this household, the Pro Bowl’s importance is matched only by that of the NHL Skills Competition (skate-sharpening, carrying Eric Lindros off the ice) and the entire NASCAR calendar. And with that in mind, here is CSTB’s Award Winning Pro Bowl Chili Recipe :

Ingredients :
750 g of Sainsbury Lean Minced Beef

1 jar of Uncle Ben’s Hot Chili
simmer the minced beef in a wok or non-combustible container until brown.

drain the fat in a colander.

remove half the beef and serve to CSTB’s Dog Mascot (allow some 20 minutes for cooling or you’ll be very very sorry)

put the other half of the beef back in the wok, add the contents of the Uncle Ben’s jar.

go watch NFL Countdown for 30 minutes

serve over a bed of white rice (if you don’t have any white rice, you can always try to cut the taste by swallowing without chewing)

Serves 1 – possibly two if you can get anyone to come over to your house for the Pro Bowl.


Psycho, Smith : Hoffarth’s Picks For SoCal’s Worst Sports Broadcasters

Posted in Baseball, Basketball, Sports TV at 6:59 pm by

Two weeks after lowering the boom on recent Los Angeles arrival Max Kellerman, The Los Angeles Daily News’ Tom Hoffarth turns his attention from the region’s best/worst talk show hosts, and moves towards the subject of game analysts. How bad is Hoffarth’s pick for LA’s Lamest? He seriously proposes Eric Karros as a viable alternative.


Eric Karros. Jerry Reuss. Ron Cey. Al Downing. Jeff Torborg. All far more worthy candidates for this 40-game-a-year roadie. Oh, and they have some credibility as former Dodgers. Instead, the Psycho Babble act plods forward, and the Dodgers continue to be caught with their pants down here, trying to shake out the dirt.

Last year: No. 2, bottom 5.

2. MICHAEL SMITH, Clippers TV, Prime Ticket

Imagine if Blake Griffin’s heroics left him speechless. Cool, eh? The problem is that Smith overstates the obvious so much, it’s tougher to trust his judgment when Griffin does something extraordinary. Take this exchange he had with Ralph Lawler on the Jan. 12 Clippers-Heat broadcast, after a LeBron James bounce pass led to a basket: “That’s one of the best passes I’ve ever seen,” Smith said. “Settle down,” Lawler said. “I don’t ever overstate things,” Smith deadpanned, causing Lawler to chuckle and respond: “Of course not.” Smith: “I NEVER do. That’s one of the best passes I’ve ever seen.” Lawler: “(They just called) a jump ball.” Smith: “A terrible call.” That it was.

Filler Up! – Mayo Blames Mysterious Gas Station Tonic For Postive PED Test

Posted in Basketball, Medical Science at 4:55 pm by

(surely this stuff is no longer on the market?)

Grizzlies G O.J. Mayo received a ten game suspension from the NBA yesterday after testing positive for Dehydroepiandrosterone aka DHEA. On Saturday, Mayo, no stranger to heavy scrutiny after his truncated tenure at USC, told the Memphis Commercial-Appeal’s Roland Tillery that he’s merely guilty of drinking some garishly labeled product anyone could grab from the nearest neighborhood Circle K.

“It was an energy drink or something similar,” Mayo said. “It was bad judgment on my behalf because I maybe should have gotten it checked out by Drew (Graham, the team’s athletic trainer). I can’t go too much into it because of the NBA.

“It’s not like I went to a GNC and got some kind of muscle armor or something,” Mayo said. “Or ordered some supplement off the internet or anything. A local gas station got me hemmed up. I’ve definitely got to make better decisions. I admit to my mistake and it’s something I got to deal with.”

“I was stunned,” Mayo said, “because I didn’t think I had done anything wrong. I had no idea I was taking a banned substance. You could probably ask just about every athlete ‘what is DHEA?’ and I don’t think you’ll be able to get an answer. But as athletes we should be responsible for what we put in our bodies. There’s a whole list of things we don’t know of that we should probably go over with our trainer on a yearly basis.”