“if you work hard enough, and blow off enough social occasions, and stare at the internet enough, and get nerdy enough, and repeatedly ignore entreaties from your friends and loved ones to please God stop blogging about Bill Plaschke and get out of the house it’s a beautiful day!, then you, too, can…have a blog.” So signed off the creators of Fire Joe Morgan yesterday, confirming the end of FJM’s impressive 4 1/2 year run. You can’t really have a burial for a blog, but if you could, it would only make sense for FMJ to be laid to rest in a casket emblazoned with the ESPN Sunday Night Baseball graphics staring back at the authors for all eternity…but no one would sell something that creepy, right? Rog forwarded the following item from the Long Island Business News’ Ambrose Clancy :
If your passion is to live and uh, die with the Mets or Yankees, John Vigliante will put you in a custom-made casket authorized by Major League Baseball, bearing the colors “ and in the case of the Bombers, the pinstripes “ of your beloved team, complete with a pillow bearing the team logo. The logos also appear on the inside lid of the casket and along the handles. Two long, wide panels of ash, the wood most often used to make major league bats, run the length of your uniformed on-deck resting place.
An owner of Branch Funeral Home of Smithtown, Vigliante is the only funeral director on Long Island offering the baseball send-off. In the past 10 years or so he has buried people with baseball bats and hockey sticks and about five people a year are interred in Mets or Yankees jerseys. (More Yankees than Mets, he said, which hurts because he roots for the Amazins, but business is business.)
Vigliante pointed to literature from a company that takes cremated remains, mixes them with colors and places them in blown glass for pendants. A Memory Glass Touchstones brochure says this will œallow you to keep your loved one in your pocket, in a purse or in any creative place, allowing you to keep your loved one with you at all times.
Or you can have a company take your ashes, mix them with
cement and dump the whole thing off the New Jersey coast, creating a reef your family and friends can visit while scuba diving.