It’s all over, London…everything but the shouting of the manic street preacher (as seen here, taking a breather, outside what’s left of the Grand Olympic Stadium in Los Angeles.)

Re-LULZing at Peter Schooff’s reprint re: unrecognized Olympic dives got me a thinkin’—albeit tangentially—about cities where the sportin’ life is King Creosote. More germane to Bob Costas, however, I looked at those places with MLB, NHL, NFL and NBA teams that have never won a bid to host the Summer Olympiad. I then cross-referenced with the metropolises the late Mary-Ellis Bunim (and, to be fair, Frank Murray) had not yet picked to profile seven strangers who dispense with pleasantries in favor of the besottedly authentic.

Finally, seeing as how every list in our era of ‘roids and vampire dope is bound to leave at least a few asterisks for posterity, well, I felt compelled to provide the same.

Imagine there’s no heaven, indeed.

***DALLAS-Fort Worth, Texas (Rangers, Stars, Cowboys, Mavericks)
****DETROIT, Mich. (Tigers, Red Wings, Lions, Pistons)
MINNEAPOLIS-St. Paul, Minn. (Twins, Wild, Vikings, Timberwolves)
PHOENIX, Ariz. (Diamondbacks, Coyotes, Cardinals, Suns)

In the past:
CLEVELAND, Ohio (Indians, Barons, Browns, Cavaliers)
Kansas City, Mo. (Royals, Scouts, Chiefs, Kings)
*****ST. LOUIS, Mo. (Cardinals, Blues, Cardinals [NFL], Hawks [see ATLANTA])
*****ATLANTA, Ga. (Braves, Flames AND Thrashers, Falcons, Hawks)

* No offense Blue Jays, Maple Leafs, Raptors, the Buffalo Bills at Rogers Centre, Canadiens, Canucks or the entire CFL.
** If indeed the ABA ever counted as a ‘major,’ PITTSBURGH, Penn. (Pirates, Penguins, Steelers, Pipers-cum-Condors).
** Ibid, too, for the World Hockey Association, HOUSTON, Texas (Astros, Aeros [though, technically, now an AHL team], Texans, Rockets).
*** Also has FC DALLAS—an MLS charter club, no less.
**** DETROIT Shock (WNBA) R.I.P.
***** ST. LOUIS and ATLANTA have hosted the Summer Olympics: 1904 and 1996, respectively.

(N.B. Mike “The Miz” Mizanin [The Real World: Back to New York] is, in fact, the WWE’s reigning Intercontinental Champion. He was born in Parma, Ohio—CLEVELAND’s largest suburb.)