[Fencer Mariel Zagunis wins the first combat medal at the Beijing Olympiad]

While this American didn’t fare so well in knife-wielding combat in China today, fencer Mariel Zagunis took home a gold in an indoor sport which has been deemed a “summer game.” As the Washington Post sabre rattles reports, “US Now a Fencing Power.” I hope the Chinese government takes notice of the fearsome combativeness of our American women, and that they’ll think twice about human rights now that they know we kick ass (well, in competition).

[L-R, Warlord Putin explains to Warlord Bush that skeeball is not an Olympic sport.]

Before the opening ceremonies, President Bush recorded a human rights statement critical of China. Then he joined fellow human rights activist President Vladimir Putin of Russia in the stands as Putin’s jets and tanks leveled sections of the former Soviet state of Georgia. The opening ceremonies featured a rapt Bob Costas announcing that “no one can dispute the quality of these opening ceremonies.” Costas is right. Although I don’t recall which human rights group protested the Chinese government’s ability to put on a snappy show. So, while the MSM sensationalizes street crime in Beijing, I’m with Costas, the world summit of violence now on display there is indeed a quality show.