Brooks Boyer, VP and Chief Marketing Officer of the Chicago White Sox knows how to read a spreadsheet.  Faced with a 25% bump in sales of Sox merchandise since the election of vocal Sox fan Barack Obama, Boyer immediately went to the drawing board and came up with a way to combine the popularity of the new president and his preferred baseball team.  These are the results:


“We don’t want to be overly opportunistic and exploit this,” lied Boyer after producing multiple designs, obtaining MLB Properties approval and crouching by the telephone, gleefully rubbing his hands while awaiting a green light from the Oval Office.

Fine with me if the first thing to be shot down by the Obama administration is this dubious idea.  No offense to Boyer, but if bringing Chicago its only World Series ring in a combined 184 seasons netted the Sox no prestige, then slapping the President’s campaign glyph on a Sox hat isn’t going to do it either.