Manny Ramirez arrived early at Fort Myers. Dice K is being followed by a ton of reporters. Water is wet. There’s going to be a lot of projectile vomiting in the Boston area on St. Paddy’s Day. Zzzzzzz.

Rob Bradford’s doing a bang up job of making the mundane seem interesting this Spring Training, but even miracle workers need some downtime. I’m not sure how the intrepid Eagle-Tribune reporter missed out on The Greatest Television Program of All Time until now, but better late than never.

My surreal television moment of the day: Watching a show called “Cheaters” last night, which has a camera crew and private investigators follow suspected cheaters in relationships. The victim in this case was an 88-year-old named Lightning McLeod, who was in a relationship with a 33-year-old. After they built their case against the woman (obviously finding she had been unfaithful to McLeod), the host of the show, a man named Joey Greco (above), a team of cameras, and a cane-wielding McLeod confronted the two. Things got a little feisty, with the older gentleman (whom Greco had called a “dashing young man” earlier in the episode waving his cane at the cheaters.

Then came the Hallmark moment when Lightning McLeod warned his younger no-good doer: “Watch out, I’ll strike twice!” I’ve got a feeling Lightning was using this same threat back in days of prohibition. Oh, and did I mention Lightning made a Mohawk out of whatever hair he had left?