After AOL’s Fanhouse broke the story of Oakland head coach Tom Cable (above) slugging assistant Randy Hanson at practice earlier this month, the San Jose Mercury News’ Tim Kawakami was in fine sneering form, proclaiming, “this is just not normal stuff. This is the kind of thing that happens in a crazed franchise.”

No big deal! Boys will be boys! Who knows who punched him, who knows if it was just a friendly little wrestling match? Let™s just listen to JT the Brick tell us how we™re going 15-1 this season and how the refs are going to screw us out of the perfect season!

But¦ that™s not how the real NFL works. In the real NFL“which includes, you know, all the teams that actually have won in the last six years“coaches don™t send each other to the hospital during training camp.

New England Patriots? No coaches sending other coaches to the hospital, that I know of. Indianapolis Colts? Philadelphia Eagles? New York Giants? Tennessee Titans? Baltimore Ravens? San Diego Chargers?

Not really any coach-on-coach violence, at least not recently. Lots more victories than the Raiders, coincidentally, and I know, it™s all just an NFL/media conspiracy against the Raiders, or else they™d have won the last 14 straight Super Bowls.

Much as I’d love to correct Mr. Kawakami, it has been nearly 15 years since Buddy Ryan took a swing at Kevin Gilbride