(Claude Makelele survives a challenge to his man-bits)
Bolton 0, Chelsea 2

I thought I heard Fred Wilpon say something about buying championships, so I just turned the volume up.

Arsenal 3, West Bromwich Albion 1,

(Alex Hieb, still confused by the myriad of handshake choices available in North London)

Late goals for Robert Pieres and Dennis Bergkamp keep hope alive for a possible top 4 finish, but the Gunners are gonna need some help — weirdly enough, in the form of Manchester United beating Spurs on Monday.
QPR 1, Derby County 1

The Derby-centric guys calling this one on the internet seemed fairly certain that Marc Nygaard’s 58th minute goal for the R’s was scored with his shoulder. After today’s result, QPR have won exactly 3 matches since January, so I’d encourage them to use any and all parts of their anatomy if that’s what it takes. It might also be helpful if the managerial situation was resolved, say, sometime before the start of the next season, but clearly there’s no sense of urgency on the part of a shadowy ownership group.

The above draw coupled with Milwall’s 1-1 deadlock with Plymouth Argyle ensured Derby of yet another season mired in the mediocrity of what used to be called the Second Division.