Writes the Denver Post’s Troy Renck, you can now expect rivers to flow uphill, kids to devour broccoli, and cats and dogs to share LoDo lofts. Those with E-tickets to Hades might also want to pack a scarf and some earmuffs.

What axis-stalling event could Renck be referring to? Tracy Ringolsby ordering a salad? Carmelo Anthony turning state’s evidence? The Frantix getting back together?

After 849 games at Coors Field, for the first time, the Rockies and a visiting team (in this case, the Padres) have combined for a 1-0 result.

Nationals 2B Junior Spivey is expected to miss as much as 3 months after breaking a wrist yesterday while hitting off a tee. We can only presume had he been taking live BP, Junior’s arm would’ve had to be amputated.