N.E. fans watching their beloved Pats struggle with the Chiefs thus far today —- Tom Brady (above), making an early exit after being sacked by Bernie “Boston Spaceships” Pollard — should relax. After all, the loss of their All-Universe QB is but a minor concern when CBS’ Dan Dierdorf is kind enough to remind them (repeatedly) that Bob Kraft’s Shopping Complex & Monument To Greed & Avarice is “a perfect, year-round destination.”
Yes, hands up, anyone in their right mind who’d willingly go to Foxboro in March. If Dierdorf is particularly keen on staying in the good graces of one of the NFL’s most powerful owners, well, he’s probably not alone. But good luck to Kraft keeping his luxury suites filled to capacity if Matt Cassell is taking snaps for more than a few weeks. I know, they’re sold out far in advance, but CBS’ deification of the Pats’ owner would border on the creepy —-were it not part of an attempt to co-promote the Kraft/CBS co-venture “CBS Scene”. We’ve only been shown this Tiffany Network-branded version of a Buffalo Wild Wings a half dozen times since the start of the 1pm game. Good thing there aren’t any other storylines worth talking about in Week 1.
What’s being described as “a non-contact injury” has rendered 49ers QB Alex Smith unfit for clipboard duty later today when San Francisco hosts Arizona. Smith wouldn’t have started in any event, but this latest blow to the Niners’ depth chart can only be viewed as another example of Brenda & The Big Guy (that’s Christ, not Karlos Dansby) conspiring to ensure a W for Kurt Warner.