Longtime Dodgers trainer Stan Conte manuevered to beat Don Mattingly to the unemployment line Saturday, resigning after 9 seasons at Chavez Ravine. Though Conte is now the envy of every Dodger staffer for never having to deal with Andre Ethier ever again, he does suffer the indignity of having his last appearance at CSTB recalled. From January 15, 2005, “Giants Spill Beans On Ditched Backstop/Shithead” :

Perhaps there was more to San Francisco’s eagnerness to rid themselves of AJ Pierzynski than the catchers love of card games/distaste for meetings with his pitching staff. Bruce Jenkins of the SF Chronicle has the dirt.

One of those now-it-can-be-told stories the White Sox, A.J. Pierzynski’s new employer, surely haven’t heard: During a Giants exhibition game last spring, Pierzynski took a shot to his, shall we say, private parts. Trainer Stan Conte rushed to the scene, placed his hands on Pierzynski’s shoulders in a reassuring way, and asked how it felt. “Like this,” said Pierzynski, viciously delivering a knee to Conte’s groin. It was a real test of professionalism for the enraged Conte, who vowed to ignore Pierzynski for the rest of the season until Conte realized how that would look. The incident went unreported because all of the beat writers happened to be doing in-game interviews in the clubhouse, but it was corroborated by a half-dozen eyewitnesses who could hardly believe their eyes. Said one source, as reliable as they come: “There is absolutely no doubt that it happened.”

(from left to right, ESPN’s Dan Patrick, the moody AJ Pierzynski, and ESPN’s recently sacked Rob Dibble, who is about to learn the hard way that AJ doesn’t like having his shoulders touched by men).