(is Mr. Waste Management asking a) “what am I supposed to do with two dozen assistant coaches?” or b) “what’s Bill Cowher’s phone number?”)

To the surprise of no one (except perhaps Josh Ronsen), Nick Saban is taking the Doug Christie/Chuck Fairbanks route out of Miami for the Alabama job, while Pat Riley — who seems to have such a hard time dealing with basketball adversity (though I’m sure his knee woes are legit) — will no doubt be spending more time with Stan Van Gundy’s family.

If Wayne Huizenga or Mickey Arison are looking for replacements (and the former was heard on the radio today asking for suggestions), I’m pretty sure either Joe Girardi or Rat Bastard of the Laundry Room Squelchers are available.