Newcastle director of football, the well-traveled Joe Kinnear (above), resigned Tuesday after a 7-month reign of error typified by sound bytes aplenty, but no transfer aquisitions whatsoever.  In the view of The Guardian’s Paul Doyle, “the man who blends Dubliner and Cockney better than any brawl has ever done became a punchline.”

Joe Kinnear. Just say it and try not to smile. Or else just call him JFK. Or JK Bawling, the creator of the famous press conference character, Harry Pottymouth. Ah but none of those names are the reason that ‘Ere resigned seven and a half months after being drafted into Newcastle to reinforce the squad by drawing liberally on his vast knowledge of football and other words beginning with f. Instead, we must consider names such as Bafétimbi Gomis, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, Darren Bent, Florian Thauvin, Rémy Cabella and Clément Grenier, all players whom Newcastle tried and failed to lure during ‘Ere’s signing-shy tenure, which ends just a week after the club lost its best player, Yohan Kebab, to PVC.

Jokin’ ‘Ere has so far resisted the temptation to explain his decision to the media, even by way of explicit gesture, so the Fiver can only surmise that the frustration at missing out on so many targets has forced ‘Ere’s hand. Being derided by supporters is unlikely to have bothered him – after all, he has “got far more intelligence than them, that’s for sure” – so his decision may also have been motivated by the impression that he seemed to be making Alan Pardew squirm, and even Mike Ashley may have been uncomfortable. Still, given the esteem with which ‘Ere claims he is held by even the biggest names in football, it surely won’t be long before the former Luton Town and Nepal manager is offered another high-profile job.