or Mike Torrez was too busy to turn up. Boston’s home opener has progressed just a little more smoothly than the Mets’ (though at least Carlos Muniz’ seats were almost as good as Craig Carton’s).

Though I’m pretty sure the Tigers won’t finish the year 0-162, it does seem as though the clock is ticking on one of the following instances actually happening :

a) Sheff demanding a trade to a contender

b) a Jimmy Leyland hiatus due to “exhaustion”

c) the Players Association reminding Mike Illitch that setting Miguel Cabrera’s contract on fire doesn’t actually void the deal.

After watching Steven Tyler struggle with “God Bless America”, for the first time, I fully appreciate the merits of Auto Tune.