(the debacle in question was presided over by Nestor Chylak : “as seen on TV”)

Last night marked the 33th anniversary of the Cleveland Indians hosting “Ten Cent Beer Night” as promotion for their evening clash with the Texas Rangers. Michael Rand of the Minneapolis Star-Tribune ponders “how past events like 10-cent beer night would have been covered had sports blogs been around for the past 50-100 years.”

From 10-cent beer night, there would have been pictures of fights in the stands (With Leather definitely would have had pictures of the topless streaker). There likely would have been some sort of live blog. There would have been immediate A-Rod jokes about the father-son duo who dropped their pants in the outfield. Deadspin™s headline would have read something like, œBut officer, I only spent $3 on beer. The Big Lead would have tried to post, only to have its server crash.

That said, I’m pretty sure I would’ve found some santimonious way of criticizing the participants, the host club, those covering the event and Michael Rand for sending out mass emails.

For those unfamiliar with the legendary event, Large of No Mas picks things up in fateful 9th inning :

A fan sprinted onto the field and stole Jeff Burroughs cap and glove, and the Rangers, led by manager and legendary five-star General of Fuck-It-Let’s-Fight-Em-All, Billy Martin, marched onto the field with bats in their hands with an eye towards getting jiggy with whoever wanted some. Not surprisingly, EVERYBODY wanted some, and soon the bat-wielding Rangers were surrounded by a frothing circle of drunken Cleveland mooks brandishing every manner of weapon imaginable, including ripped-out stadium seats. At that point, the Indians grabbed bats and stormed into the outfield fray as well. Shit proceeded to get all Warriors out there.

The Indians forfeited the game, which was tied at five apiece in the ninth. The outfield gang-war resulted in no shortage of injuries to players, fans and umpires (Hargrove famously did some serious damage out there). In the end, A.L. president Lee MacPhail summed up the situation in typically incisive fashion when he said, “There is no question that the beer played a part in the riot.” Was it Descartes or Homer Simpson who said, “Ah alcohol… the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”