We can all sleep well this Thursday night, knowing we live in a world where punching Alex Ferguson’s cock is not tolerated. Even better, Sir Alex claims “no lasting effects”. From the Mirror :

A drunken thug who punched Sir Alex Ferguson in the groin, was jailed for 15 months today.

Homeless Kevin Reynolds, branded by the judge a “significant risk to the public”, spotted the Manchester United manager outside a train station, staggered towards him and delivered a single blow.

His “stunned” victim promptly doubled up in agony and, as he fought for breath, managed to gasp “What the hell are you doing?”.

The 44-year-old beggar – whose criminal record boasts a total of 146 convictions including many for violence, during nearly a quarter of a century of drink-driven offending – promptly insisted: “I’m sorry Fergie, I didn’t realise it was you.”

But almost immediately afterwards he held out his arms and started shouting: “Fergie, Fergie, shut your mouth.” Peter Zinner, prosecuting, told London’s Southwark Crown Court: “Your honour may know it is a chant that is used by football supporters in Scotland, or is something heard at matches involving Manchester United when Sir Alex gets excited.”